Category: Play That Funky Music

Lindsay Lohan Teased Another Single Called “Xanax”

August 29, 2019 / Posted by:

Sometimes a revolution can happen overnight, but a renaissance takes time. It took 4 centuries for Europe to rid itself of the raw brutality of the Middle Ages before it was born anew as the western cradle of art, culture, and giant smoked turkey legs. You can’t rush a renaissance. We can’t expect to wake up one fine morning to find the Lohanaissance upon us! It would blow our unsophisticated, feeble minds. Lindsay Lohan is taking her time, for us. That’s why she’s only shared a scant snippet of her latest single, Xanax, with us at this time. Lindsay’s smoked turkey legs can wait!

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Bento The Keyboard Cat Has Died

March 19, 2018 / Posted by:

The Keyboard Cat has died, long live the Keyboard Cat. Bento The Beneficent was the second of what one can only presume will be a long line of feline rulers to wield a Casio to uplift and inspire a weary populace. The Spokesman Review reports that Bento died on March 8th. While Bento’s soul is immortal, his body was 9 years old at the time of his ascension.

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