Category: Middle School Shit
Justin Bieber Still Doesn’t Like The Weeknd
In the real world, when adults see that one of their exes has started dating someone new, they might whisper, “Yeah, good luck with that,” to themselves before continuing to scroll through Instagram. Or they might just shrug, because who even cares. But since Justin Bieber hasn’t matured past middle school, he reacted to the news that his ex is getting railed by someone new a little differently. Shortly after Justin found out that his ex Selena Gomez was getting with The Weeknd, Justin puffed out his little chest and told paps that The Weeknd’s music was “wack.” Almost a month later, Justin is acting like a douchebag spurned again.
We already knew that Justin Bieber had no intention of going to the Grammys on Sunday night. But what did he do instead? He trolled The Weeknd on Instagram Live. Mashable says that it happened while driving around with a friend on Sunday night. Justin’s friend asks him what his favorite song is right now. That little shit-starter jokes that it’s Starboy, then laughs extra hard about it.
I wonder how long it took for Justin and his friend to come up with that sick burn? I bet they spent most of their time trying to decide between that, or having Justin’s friend ask him what part of the week he likes the best. “And then I’ll say the weekend! And then we’ll laugh! Oh my god, we’re so savage.”
Justin really thinks he’s really ripped a hot one there, but the joke’s on him. Starboy totally seems like the song Justin Bieber would play on repeat while watching himself flex his abs in a full-length mirror.
Pic: Splash
Taylor Swift Might Be Trying To Get With Hozier Now
After several months of getting her girl power groove back with her ya-ya sisterhood or whatever 1989 was supposed to be about, it sounds like Taylor Swift’s boy-crazy cootch (or as she calls it, her “love meadow”) once again has the fever for famous dick. According to E!, Ashley A’s human equivalent spent most of Sam Smith’s Grammy afterparty cozied up to Hozier, aka the Take Me To Church guy. Tay Tay and Hozier (government name: Andrew Hozier-Byrne) were first spotted hanging out at a HAIM concert last week, and apparently they spent a good deal of time together on Sunday night. A source says they were still chatting at 3:30am and that Taylor gave him a few kisses on the cheek when she left.
Of course, another source tells People that it’s 100% butterscotch-scented BS that anything R rated is going on between them because they’re just friends.
Or maybe Hozier was just a cheap last-minute replacement for Tay Tay’s first party boy choice Sam Smith, who sort of ditched her to hang out with the Veronica to her Heather, Katy Perry. The NY Daily News says that Tay Tay was forced to skip Universal’s Grammy afterparty because Katy showed up to that shit first and remora’d herself onto Sam before Tay Tay could. And since she hadn’t yet perfected the timing on her sassy finger-wag in case an impromptu “The Boy Is Mine”-style bitch-off broke out, she skipped it and waited for Sam at the after-afterparty. Which is where she killed some time batting her eyelashes at Hozier and telling him his hair looks sexy pushed back.
Here’s Tay Tay being escorted out of said party by her 35-year-old cool mom friend Jamie King on Sunday night. If you’ve ever wondered what Tay Tay’s face looks like after she writes her phone number on a guy’s arm using a Maybelline Baby Lips, here it is:
Pics: Splash