CORRECTION: Money Does In Fact Sleep

Catherine Zeta-Jones’ plastic surgery bills don’t pay themselves, so Michael Douglas had to get back out there and make some damn money. That’s the only reason I can come up with as to why there is a sequel to Wall Street. But anyways, here is the trailer.

The title of this shit lies. They are making it sound like money has insomnia. I know for a fact that money is not wide awake at night watching HSN and downing warm milk laced with crushed Simply Sleep pills in order to finally get some Zzzzzs.

Money was definitely fast asleep the other night when I went to the ATM to pay it a visit and got an “insufficient funds” notice instead. Lazy ass money couldn’t come to the damn door because it was alseep! Or maybe nobody was home. No, money was definitely hugging a body pillow in bed.

And what is it with Shia starring in unnecessary sequels with old dudes we may or may not still fap to. First it was Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones, and now it’s Michael Douglas in this mess. What’s next? Shia and Sean Connery in the sequel to First Knight called Second Knight?

Michael Douglas’ Son Busted For Trying To Sell Meth

CZJ’s 30-year-old stepson got in trouble AGAIN for fucking with the bad shit. Cameron Douglas was arrested on July 28th at the Gansevoort Hotel in NYC for trying to move $18,000 worth of meth to L.A. with the intent to sell. The New York Post says that the bust was part of some undercover sting operation.

Cops found Cameron at the Gansevoort where he had been living for quite some time in a room paid for by daddy. Apparently, the place looked like the “before” pictures on Clean House and Cameron was totally strung out.

This is Cameron’s third time getting arrested. In 2007, he found himself in a jail cell holding his asshole for dear life after cops found liquid cocaine and a syringe in his car. In 1999, he was caught buying coke from a dealer.

This is like Traffic: The Reality Show! Let me guess, Cameron was forced to suck on the peens of old skeezers in order to keep the bad shit coming in? And a methfaced Topher Grace was there, sitting in the corner. Hmmm…Luis Guzman should probably stay away from cars for a while.

And in a gutter somewhere, both Mischa Barton and Lindsay Lohan are breathing a sigh of relief, because they have one less dealer to pay. Their lucky day!