It’s Going To Be A Box Set!

In case you really don’t give a used colostomy bag about Kendra Wilkinson’s latest release in Time Life’s long-running Z-list fuck tape series, get into the picture above instead. This is Kendra back in her high school days when she would do ANYTHING to sit at the round green plastic table with the exquisite cholitas.

Kendra even shaved her brows off with a rusty Bic and prayed to the Sharpie Gods when she drew the whisper of a weepy clown over her eyes. Even though the cholitas jumped Kendra into their “gang” behind the gym, they never fully accepted her. They let her carry their starter jackets and remove the hickies from their cheeks with a frozen spoon, but she was never one of them. You and me both, Kendra. You and me both.

Anyletsmakeoutinthebackofabrownlincoln, Radar reports that a second Kendra sex tape is already making the rounds. This time, Kendra’s fuck tape co-star is a chick. Sources who have seen the tape says toys are involved and shit gets really graphic. One source went on to say, “This is really, really graphic and showing her in compromising positions; things you would think would be embarrassing for her.”

Vivid already has the lezzie tape in their hands and they are thinking about releasing it as a sequel to Kendra Exposed. I’m sure there will be a box set out in time for the holidays!

Like I’ve said before, Kendra has nothing to be embarrassed about. Kendra has spent many mornings flossing the cumwebs out of her teeth after sucking Hef’s dehydrated worm, so a lesbian sex tape is Disney shit compared to that.

Kendra Made A Sex Tape With Everyone

Kendra’s debut sex tape is supposed to be released later this month, and she’s apparently still trying to fight it. Radar is still saying that Kendra tried to whore several tapes out a few years ago, and now they are saying that she made fuck films with “multiple partners.” Now, we don’t know if that means Kendra brought the camcorder out every time her clitoris danced with a different dick, or if she got passed around like a bottle of Squeeze Bacon at the Chawners family reunion.

Radar reports:

New documents uncovered by RadarOnline.com show that not only were there multiple sex tapes , as we exclusively reported, but also multiple partners!

And while Kendra has threatened to sue if the tapes are released she has not returned requests for comment about her attempts to secretly sell the tapes and the company she formed in November, 2008 to do so.

While attempting to sell the tapes in 2008 Kendra was already with Philadelphia Eagles’ wide receiver Hank Baskett, who is now her husband. She needed the approval of Playboy’s Hugh Heffner to go through with the deal, as she was starring in her final season of The Girls Next Door.

And while the deal never went through, the documents governing the deal show that the tapes “featured” her in intimate relations with others.

Again, I’m not even batting one eye lash at the mention of Kendra’s sex tape possibly featuring an all-out messy gang bang. It’s like the trailer park version of Caligula.

This is Kendra we’re talking about! Even if she filmed a sex tape with a real-life Catholic priest and she wasn’t dressed like an altar boy, I still wouldn’t reach for the smelling salts. Any ho who gets naked with Hugh Hefner is a freak of every week.

Kendra Is The Pimp And The Ho

Kendra Wilkinson dramatically threw her hand over her forehead and cried about how she was devastated to learn that a sex tape she made years ago is about to be made public through Vivid Entertainment. Kendra is trying to kill the tape before it gets released, but Radar is saying that she tried to peddle that same tape over a year ago.

Yes, Kendra tried to leak her own tape. In the industry they call that “A Paris Hilton.” They also call it “A Kim Kardassian.” And “A Pamela Anderson.” And “A (insert the name of your favorite fuck tape star here).” A celebwhore trying to extend their 15 minutes by extending their vagina all over a penis on camera is a story as old as Larry King.

Radar got a hold of a few documents that prove that Kendra and her people were in the process of whoring the tape out to the highest bidder before she got married to Hank Baskett and birthed their baby. Kendra wanted complete control of how the tape would be edited before they sold it.

Who knows if Kendra is part of this latest leak, but if she is then she’s putting on her fake game face, because her lawyer is still trying to wrestle the tape out of Vivid’s permanently spermy hands. Vivid refuses to let go and plans to show Kendra in all her glory later this month.

Kendra probably got cold vag about the tape after marrying Hank and getting knocked up. Maybe she doesn’t want her kid to see her giving a demonstration on how he was made (ugh). But honestly, knowing that everyone has seen his mother getting down on the peen isn’t going to force him into a life of therapy and anti-depressants. Listening to Kendra’s “Elmer Fudd with brain damage” laugh all day will hold that honor.

Kendra’s Got A Sex Tape

One of Hugh Hefner’s former bedpan orderlies, Kendra Wilkinson, is not exactly queefing happy balloons over the news that a fuck tape she made several years ago is about to be released through Vivid Entertainment. Yes, and there you were thinking Kendra was a virginal pilgrim who wore a pair of cotton panties over and under her pantyhose and only accepted pearl necklaces from the joo-ree department at KMart. Perfect image shattered.

Apparently, Kendra boned on camera before she moved into the Playboy Mansion in 2004 when she was 19.

Vivid shot loads all over the place when they released this statement about Kendra’s tape. Seriously, reading this statement is like blowing a dude with an excessive pre-ejaculation issue.

‘We know that Kendra has millions of fans and we feel that it’s rare to find well-produced, hardcore footage of a star of her magnitude. The tape was brought to us by a third party and after consulting with our attorneys, we are confident in our right to distribute it. We’ve been trying to reach Kendra but have so far been unsuccessful. We therefore made the decision to release ‘Kendra Exposed’ to stores across the country by the end of May,’ said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of Vivid. “We believe this could be our all time best selling celebrity tape.”

“Kendra Exposed” will be distributed under the Vivid-Celeb imprint and Kendra will joining such celebrities as Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, Kim Kardashian and Ray J, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty, Shauna Sand and others whose sex tapes have also been released by Vivid.

The explicit tape was made before she was engaged to and then married Philadelphia Eagles receiver Hank Baskett. The name of her sex partner in the video, that was shot prior to her moving into the Playboy mansion, has not been revealed.

Kendra confirmed that the tape is real and issued this statement through her spokeswhore to OK! Magazine:

Kendra’s attorneys are currently evaluating and pursuing Kendra’s rights with respect to the purported video and any third parties involved in the possible sale, reproduction or distribution of the same. During this difficult time, Kendra and her family would greatly appreciate the respect of their privacy.

In Famewhorenese, “respect our privacy” really means “BUT WATCH OUR REALITY SHOW ON E!”.

After reading this mess, I was more shocked to learn that this is her first ever leak. I was under the assumption that you could check out a Kendra sex tape from the history section at the public library.

I know Kendra wants everyone to see her as a wholesome mother and wife instead of a trick who used to get nekkid with a live corpse, but a sex tape is not a big deal at all. Everyone has one. Besides, it could be a lot worse. She could’ve made a fuck tape with Hugh Hefner instead. And I know I would rather be called a “porn star” by the PTA mothers instead of a “dead body fucker.”