Open Post: Hosted By The Louisiana Dumpster Pizza Blob That Will Eventually Destroy Us All

Last week Domino’s Pizza employees in Covington, Louisiana were tasked with prepping the store for the arrival of Hurricane Ida. So they nailed the pizzas to the counter (false), covered the windows in Domino’s boxes (also false), and threw out a large mass of pizza dough before it could rot in the fridge (TRUE). And after days of sitting in 90° weather directly in the unforgiving Lousiana sun, the pizza dough began to expand. To grow. To… conquer. Civilian bartender Nicole Amstutz spotted the doughy blob, took a picture, and posted it to Facebook. There’s no doubt that future historians will appreciate photographic evidence of Pizza Blob’s birth. A couple of days later Nicole returned and saw that the dough had managed to escape its dumpster confines and begun to travel on land. Today the Domino’s parking lot? Tomorrow… the world.

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