Category: EJ Johnson

Open Post: Hosted By EJ Johnson Exuding Goth Alien Cheerleader Glamour

February 1, 2016 / Posted by:

Strangely enough, I’ve never asked myself the question, “If Planet Grace Jones had its own basketball team, what would its cheerleaders wear?” But even though I’ve never asked that question, EJ Johnson gave me the answer and HOW when he made b-holes pucker themselves raw in Las Vegas on Friday night. Ever since Magic Johnson’s son lost a whole lot of chunk, he’s been dressing his body in the finest ho shit couture including this ensemble.

After EJ Johnson served up rah-rah martian hotness at his friend/reality show co-star Dorothy Wang’s birthday party at 1 OAK on Friday night, I’m sure the dogs in Calabasas went crazy from hearing a high-pitched nasally screech across the land. It was from the Kartrashians letting out a whore wail of jealousy after seeing EJ wear the ensemble one of them was supposed to wear in front of the paps the next day. And EJ obviously wore it better. I hope EJ keeps fucking up their fame whore game by wearing their outfits before they do.

Here’s more nipple-hardening pictures of EJ Johnson with Dorothy Wang on Friday night. If you got to this post after Googling “nipple-hardening pictures of a johnson and a wang,” this is obviously not what you were looking for, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to fap to it.

Pics: Wenn.com

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Open Post: Hosted By Aubrey O’Day As A Slutty Cruella de Vil

October 26, 2015 / Posted by:

 

YES! You know that Slutoween has officially begun when a Z-list flower does herself up like a skankified version of a Disney cartoon character to go to some men’s magazine party. I needed something to cleanse my eyeballs of Colton Haynes’ nightmare-inducing skinny Ursula, and thankfully, Aubrey O’Day came along looking like Slutella de Vil at a Maxim Halloween party.

You know, I was going to call Maxim’s Halloween party a bootleg Playboy party, but I’d rather go to a Maxim party. Because at a Maxim party, you don’t have to feel your skin crawl as you watch Hugh Hefner pick out which plastic blondes he wants in his sad sex line of terror and you don’t have to worry about tackling a trick after seeing Bill Cosby hand her a drink. Besides, at a Playboy party, will you see this bronzer-covered rose looking like Cruella de Vil if Cruella de Vil finally went to prison for animal cruelty, got out and had to trade hand jobs for her fix (Dalmatian pelts) in the alley of a dog shelter? I think not! (No, I doubt Aubrey O’Day gets invited to Playboy parties anymore, but that’s not the point!)

Pics: Splash

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