Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

It’s an hour to fly from Toronto to New York. By the time you go up, it’s almost like you have to go down again.

But she was desperate, desperate for a drink. Even before take-off. Which was not allowed on this flight. She was told she’d have to wait. And she didn’t want to wait. Caused a stink about having to wait. Huffing and puffing, sweet features morphed into an off-putting bitch scowl. It was a scene. And she didn’t stop bitching until they put the first jack and coke in front of her once the seatbelt sign had been turned off.

That was followed by two more. Three jack and cokes on the flight.

So, maybe she’s afraid to fly. Maybe it was a terrible day. But with her history, and it wasn’t all that long ago, and the shitty influences she has around her, this is probably a concern, non? (Lainey Gossip)

The thought bubble above my head pictured Laura Jean Poon (aka Reese Witherspoon), but I don’t think it’s her, because I don’t know of any shitty influences around her (she IS the shitty influence). Besides, Laura Jean Poon doesn’t screw around and she’s the type who’d smuggle in her own bottles of Jack and Coke onto a plane. I’m going to guess Selena Gomez and I don’t really blame her. If you were dickmatized by Justin Bieber, you’d need more than a few Jack and Cokes to deal with that tragic fact.

With this former A+ list athlete still with A+ list name recognition back to his old sleeping with waitresses days, his girlfriend was overheard telling another woman that she is looking for a big payday to stay quiet. (CDAN)

Tiger Woods and Lindsay Vonn? But Tiger Woods wet humping on some waitress in the parking lot of a Waffle House is such a non-shock that it isn’t even worth 50 cents in “hush money.” That said, #getmoneyvonn.

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This pairing could result in several number one records. In a private room in a restaurant out of the country, this couple had a date. Just the two of them. An A+ list singer and an A+ list mostly movie actor. They have been planning this one for awhile. Three hours and I don’t think they were talking about her movie career or his sometime girlfriend who was half a world away. (CDAN)

Taylor Swift and either Leonardo DiCatchAHo or Bradley Cooper, both of which she’s supposedly tried to get on in the past. Tay Tay and DiCatchAHo make sense, because he’s run out of Victoria’s Secret Angels to bone and she’s the closest thing to an Angel since she’s Single White Female-ing one. Tay Tay and B. Coop also make sense, because she’s one of the most prolific beards in the game and he’s probably getting sick of being with an amateur (see: that Sookeh Waterhouse girl) and is craving the best.

At dinner the other night with several friends in attendance, this former B list musician who is still a B list celebrity because of his name pulled out a ring and asked this actress to marry him. Apparently there was a look of horror on the face of the actress and she told him that it wasn’t the time or place right then. Our celebrity slumped back in his seat, but didn’t leave which is what I think most people would have done. (CDAN)

Benji Madden and Cameron Diaz? Why do I have a feeling that she did the same thing the first time he whipped out his peen in front of her?

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This B+ list mostly television actor who goes from network show to network show is telling friends and co-workers on the set of his new show that his marriage to this A list celebrity singer is over. Apparently she has made it clear she wants to move on. (CDAN)

The first names my brain farted up were Mimi and Nick Cannon. But Nick Cannon’s not exactly a TV show jumper and if they were really over, over, we’d know it, because Mimi’s horny butterfly ass would be running down the streets naked while hunting for new boy toy dick. I also thought of Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes, but LeAnn Rimes’ luck dragon claw will never let go of that dick and the only place she’s considered A-list is a place called the inside of her head.

Josh Duhamel has a new TV show, so this could be about him and Fergie. But the year is 2014 and in the year 2014, is Fergie A-list? If the year was 1984, she’d definitely be A-list since she was on Kids Inc. (aka the biggest show of all-time) then.

The stars of this film recently attended their premiere. Each was accompanied by a significant other or a family member or a publicist. Except for this one actress. She brought THREE bodyguards with her.

WTH? Girl, you’re just walking the red carpet… and you aren’t even one of the top four stars of the film! Do you know how many security guards the four real stars of the film brought with them (two of whom are Academy Award winners)? None! Your costars may just roll their eyes at your antics, but we are going to tell you straight up: You are not doing yourself any favors by giving off airs and playing the diva every time you walk outside. (Blind Gossip)  Continue reading

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

We can’t stop laughing over this one about a a certain young actor at a recent party.

Security guards confiscated everyone’s phones before they entered the VIP lounge at this recent music festival. It wasn’t just to preserve the privacy of the celebrities who were there. It was to keep guests from videotaping those who were openly doing drugs. In fact, witnesses watched one famous actor open up a capsule of molly and pour it into his mouth, chased by a drink. At first, the actor was incredibly upbeat and happy. However, after a while, he suddenly had an urge to do something else.

So our actor removed all his clothes. He folded them into a neat pile. Then he lay on the floor – completely naked – and began quietly petting and stroking the carpet.

He didn’t say anything. Just smiled. The people around him, who were all drinking and/or doing drugs, didn’t even blink. “Leave him alone,” they said. “He’s rolling.” (Blind Gossip)

Zac Efron? Make a mental note: If you’re ever going to do molly with Zac Efron, don’t shave or trim your pubes weeks beforehand so he has some luscious carpet to stroke while rolling. And that carpet was immediately pulled off of the floor and it’s being used to make a wig for John Travolta.

What B/C-list mostly movie actress and the textbook example of a beard has been interviewing wealthy men to become her next husband? Does her current “husband” know about this? (CDAN)

Kelly Preston? This better be a work of fiction, because if Kelly Preston and John Travolta’s beard kingdom crumbles, there’s no hope for any beards.

This B list actress is getting married to an A list athlete. She really wants to adopt a child. He thinks it is because she cares about children, but she told her friends she wants to be able to get child support if they divorce since the pre-nup is so strict. (CDAN)

Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade? She needs to take a quick class from Sherri Shepherd’s master gold digging ex.

Which star of an HBO show sent the ad out, looking for love in all the wrong places?

Looking for a dominant lady to kick me in the balls. I want you to totally own my balls with you feet. I have a high pain-tolerance. MAJOR PLUS if you know martial arts kick training. Private / discreet/ Safe!

GUESS WHO? (Naughty But Nice Rob)

Adam from Girls? But who ever this is should hook up with Kate Gosselin, because she’d kick ’em, punch ’em, rip ’em out and feed ’em to him.

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This married former A+ list mostly movie actor who is hair challenged has been spotted more than once at a truck stop where he meets up with a hooker he met there a few months ago. Our actor wears a cowboy hat and sometimes a fake mustache. He thinks people can’t recognize him when he dresses like that or maybe he is playing some kind of character in his mind. (CDAN)

Nicolas Cage? This has to be about Nicolas Cage. Nicolas Cage probably owns the gold filling that was once in King Tut’s molar and the toilet that Elvis died on (which Nicolas uses as a backyard planter), so he obviously enjoys the finer things in life and truck stop hooker cooch falls under that category.

There was an interesting discussion that recently took place at a resort location. Several models were telling a young and famous female performer about how they make more money “partying” for a few days with older men from the UAE than they do in a whole year of modeling.

Our celebrity initially seemed a little repulsed by the whole concept… until the other girls told her how much someone as famous as our celebrity could make. Then she started listening with great interest and asking lots of questions about the logistics! While she did say that she wasn’t ready to do it now, she left the door open by saying “…but maybe next year.” At that point, the other girls went crazy and started making plans and swapping names and numbers. “We will totally hook you up!”

We’re sure her parents will be delighted to know that their daughter may be destroying her life with booze and drugs now… but at least she’ll have a source of income waiting for her in the future! (Blind Gossip)

Justin Bieber, obviously! Or Selena Gomez?

As key as she is to the success of this very hit cable show, this multiple Emmy nominee/winner has been threatened with replacement on the show because her drinking is out of control and she has blacked out from drinking on set several times. She is a very rare visitor to the blinds and never about her drinking. (CDAN)

TVLand can suck it raw. They and everyone else knows that Betty White is irreplaceable. Keep boozing, Betty!

I don’t care if someone wants to get pregnant or doesn’t want to get pregnant. I don’t think anyone should shame you or force you into doing one or the other. What I don’t like though is a former A list mostly movie actress hanging on to B by a thread after being the it actress for almost a decade who about once a year starts talking about how much she wants a baby and can’t wait to get pregnant and uses almost the exact same quotes all of the time. She and her team decided that it makes her much more popular to tell the world how she loves kids and wants kids and sometimes she even talks about what she is going to name her kids and how she even goes crib shopping sometimes. The thing is the actress hates kids and tells her friends all the time that she has no desire to ever get pregnant and if she could she would take two pills a day to make sure she doesn’t get pregnant. She has broken up with men in the past who wanted babies or wanted to get married. She is the most anti-baby person ever which is fine. Her choice. I just hate when she says the complete opposite in interviews just because she thinks it will make her more popular. (CDAN)

Jennifer Aniston? Whatever you do, do not tell the nursery full of Cabbage Patch babies in her basement. They will be devastated.

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This good looking A- list R&B singer with a very cool style is probably going to jail. He will also probably take down about four or five other names in the industry because of the ponzi type scheme he was running with them. An arrest is imminent. (CDAN)

The only good looking A list R&B singer with a very cool style I can think of is Nick Ashford and this isn’t about him, because he’s blowing rhinestone dust into the eyes of the angels in heaven and the only crime he committed was stealing your breath every time he flipped his gorgeous lion mane.

This could be about: Usher, Robin Thicke, Frank Ocean, Pharrell, John Legend or The Difficult Brown? The “very cool style” line leads my ass to believe that this might be about Pharrell. To which I say: Say it ain’t so, smooth rat! I know that only failed pimps turned bottom level club owners think that Robin Thicke has “cool style,” but I’m still going to say this is about him. And I hope that he is also charged with committing first degree douchery.

This former B list mostly television actor from a long long running network hit that is finally on its last legs gave away most of his money to a church and is essentially homeless. Millions gone. (CDAN)

Angus T. Jones? David Miscavige is probably slapping his Thetans something hard, because he wishes Scientology would’ve sunk its claws into that kid before that other “church” did.

This A+ list diva is going to lose her mind or throw glasses of her champagne everywhere when she finds out her celebrity husband got another woman pregnant. He is supposed to keep his cheating secret and this is going to be a tough one to keep secret. (CDAN)

Mimi and Nick Cannon? But in Nick’s defense, it was his whiteface alter ego who knocked up that trick, so he technically didn’t do it.

This foreign born B list mostly movie actor who is A+ list still in the action world is about three times the age of the daughter of his A list co-star but it didn’t stop them from hooking up. I wonder if dad found out because the two co-stars have not done any press together. (CDAN)

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger and Harrison Ford?

In the never-ending quest for ratings and attention, this TV maven is trying to get the cast on this show excited about a new story line: Three of the women on the show… all pregnant… at the same time!

No, it does not matter what the fathers of those potential babies think. What matters is the attention these three women would get! Just think of the photo ops! The daily gossip updates! The reality show ratings! The endorsements!

One has agreed, but they still needs two more to join her. It doesn’t matter which two. If they can reproduce, they are eligible to be part of this story line. (Blind Gossip)

Do I even have to say it? Let me give you a hint: rhymes with “whore.” (“But Michael, ‘Pimp Mama Kris‘ doesn’t rhyme with ‘whore.’” – you “Yes it does, try it.” – me)