Alanis Morissette Loves Herself

Wearing bikini bottoms from RuPaul’s “If You Can’t Love Yourself…” swimwear collection, Alanis Morissette showed Ryan Reynolds what he missed out on while on vacation with her family in Hawaii over the weekend. Blake NotSoLively, who? Chew all of this ass, Ryan.

When Alanis wasn’t humping Souleye piggyback-style in the water, she was serving up some ass in “self-love” bikini bottoms. If those bikini bottoms said “self-loathe” and had an easy access zipper, I’d take seven!

Would You Hit It?

Pimp Mama Kris finally released Nana Bruce from her cold, dead demon claws and let ole’ girl have some fun on the water with his hot sons Brody and Brandon Jenner in Greece yesterday. After seeing gross picture after gross picture of those Kardashian kunts in swimsuits, I, for one, am happy to see 63-year-old Bruce Jenner airing out his chile rellenos titties. That JCPenney salon special on Bruce’s head makes him look like a cross between Ann Romano’s psycho memaw and a senior citizen Chucky doll after taking too many female hormones. That IS the look.

This is the hottest ad for Estroven I’ve ever seen.

PMK has totally motorboated those chichis before, so I would not hit it. But I would massage his hands with Jean Nate lotion while we watch his favorite Murder, She Wrote episode together.

What Old People Think Of Gay Sex

Davey Wavey previously asked lesbians for their thoughts on peen and he asked gays their thoughts on coochie, and now he’s asking disciples of Metamucil at The L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center what they think of gay sex. First of all, I need to see some IDs, because some of these seniors look young enough to be Lindsay Lohan’s kid. Second of all, the priceless jewel in the pink knit vest won this round when she said “cum cum cum” and she won it again when she said, “I know when I was young I was chasing all the little dykes around.”

via Buzzfeed