Night Crumbs

Leave it to the French to turn a PG-13 into X-rated filth! THINK OF LE CHILDREN! The tagline on the French poster for Barbie reads, “Elle peut tout faire. Lui, c’est juste Ken,” which apparently translates to “She can do everything. He’s just Ken.” Nothing sucio about that, but “Ken” is French slang for fuck, so it can read, “She can do everything. He just knows how to fuck.” We all know that Ken is a fuckboi, but we thought he was a fuckboi who can’t really fuck since he has no genitals. Unless he’s got a retractable dick like a cat. Or maybe one of Ken’s accessories is a strap-on. I mean, that wouldn’t be totally crazy since he did come with a cock ring once   – HuffPo

At the London premiere of Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One, Tom Cruise didn’t even try, but Rebecca Ferguson made the late Vivienne Westwood proud by looking like a bedraggled Victorian bride ghost – Lainey Gossip 

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Dlisted Will Say Goodbye On June 30th

Pictured: Patron Saints of Dlisted, Phoebe Price and Shauna Sand, preparing for our goodbye party.

Dlisted turned 18 on January 23, so now that it’s an adult (God, help us all!), it’s time for it to fly the coop. On June 30th, Dlisted will take its final bow and will close for good. This is a bittersweet decision that has been marinating in my brain for a long time and wasn’t even close to being an easy one since this site has been my life for nearly two decades, thanks to all of the writers and all of you.

In the site’s final post next Friday, I will explain in detail my decision to pull the curtain on Dlisted (SPOILER ALERT: it’s time for me to move on). That’s if I’m able to finish a draft without my fingers breaking from sadness and nervousness. Until then, Ben, Dominique, Emily, Kristian, Michelle, Vanessa, and I will continue to post as usual, and the comments will stay open. Also, Allison and I will be doing an episode of Dlisted: The Podcast about the site’s closing, so if you have any questions for us, send ‘em over to [email protected].

And for now, I leave you with what I consider one of Dlisted’s greatest honors. Here’s when Hot Slut of 2007, Phoebe Price, re-branded Hot Slut as Hot Babe because she’s elegant and wholesome like that!

Pic: Michael Bezjian/Wireimage

Birthday Sluts

Night Crumbs

A$AP Rocky added fuel to the marital fire that he’s married to Rihanna by calling her his “wife” during a show in Cannes. Okay, but I won’t believe that RiRi is really married until I see wedding pictures of her working a pair of white lace bridal pasties, a white satin thong, and a blue clit chain from Savage X Fenty’s new demure bride collection – Lainey Gossip

Oh, look, Ioan Gruffud has accused Alice Evans of more certifiable insanity, including violating his restraining order against her by making fake Twitter accounts to troll him some more. At this point, the Twitter bird should file a restraining order against Alice, too – Celebitchy

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Birthday Sluts

Night Crumbs

As Kevin Costner still tries to get his wife of 19 years, Christine Baumgartner, to leave the $145 million house they used to share, their divorce fight has gotten messier. Christine filed papers demanding $248,000 A MONTH in child support for their three kids (ages 13, 14, and 16) and says that’s “less than the amount needed to maintain the children in their accustomed lifestyle.” Christine claims that Kevin brought in $19 million before taxes last year, and their family spent $6.6 million on expenses. On top of the nearly $250,000 a month, Christine also wants Kevin to cover the kids’ tuition, health insurance, and extracurricular activities. Now, Kevin has already given Christine $1 million as part of their prenup agreement. Kevin has also agreed to give her $38,000 a month in child support (plus he’s agreed to cover their kids’ tuition and other expenses), $30,000 a month toward a new home, and $10,000 for moving costs. But Christine wants more! And I don’t know if she’ll get it, but one way she can try is by telling the court, “He made me watch The Postman.” I mean, everyone who watched The Postman deserves millions for their pain and suffering! – People

Beyoncé, Rihanna, Zendaya, and more came out for Pharrell Williams’ fashion show debut as the new creative director for Louis Vuitton Menswear. Okay, but the only STAH I was looking to see in the front row at Pharrell’s show was his legendary crumpled dickhead hat, which was nowhere to be found. Oh, Pharrell, how could you forget your FASHUN beginnings? For shame! – Lainey Gossip

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