Presenting Mr. And Mrs. David Silver

14-year-old boys and middle-aged nerds who regularly get yelled at by their moms for leaving skidmarks in their underoos will be weeping into their custom made World of Warcraft bed sheets tonight, because Star Magazine is saying that prolific philosopher Megan Fox got married to Brian Austin Green in Hawaii last week. Well, at least the fanboys will always have the beautiful memories of their wedding to a Megan Fox cardboard cutout (which has the same IQ as the real Megan Fox).

Megan and BAG got engaged for a second time over a week ago in Hawaii after dating on-and-off for about 6 years. A source says that the wedding took place at the Four Seasons on the big island of Hawaii on either Thursday or Friday. The source gave a few details, “They had a fairly large wedding, but there were clearly more security people than guests! They had so many security people that they had to call in local security because the hotel security alone wouldn’t do. It was very hush hush. Everyone was sworn to secrecy. The place is perfect for a Hollywood wedding. It’s very romantic and scenic. Megan and Brian had already been there for a few days. It seemed like a spur of the moment thing. I don’t think it had been planned long. Megan and Brian are still there at the hotel, relaxing. They’re now celebrating their honeymoon.”

Megan’s spokesbitch has yet to confirm or deny this mess. If this is true, it will be the first marriage for both of them. BAG has a kid with Vanessa Marcil.

Hopefully, someone at that wedding had a Flip cam to get this shit on video, because you know Megan Fox recited an Aerosmith ballad Old English-style (for a touch of class) as her vows.

And since Megan married David Silver, that means she’s officially Megan Fox-Silver. FOX SILVER! It’s a tragic day when Megan Fox is closer to Mah Boo Anderson Cooper than I am.