Night Crumbs

January 11, 2023 / Posted by: Michael K

Netflix has made a documentary on former HSOTD Gunther VI, the richest pet in the world who shits diamonds and pisses liquid gold thanks to his $400+ million fortune. You know, watching a documentary about a dog of the 1% IN THIS ECONOMY sounds like a depressing hate watch. But I’m still going to watch it with my dog so that she can gather info on her future sugar dog daddy (and my future dog son-in-law) when he finally tells one of his minions to swipe right on her Tindog profile. Trick is too rich to do his own swiping! – Bustle

If you need something for your dating app profile to let potential pieces know that you’re ready for a serious commitment, just write: I’m looking for someone who will commit to me the way that Austin Butler has committed to that fucking Elvis voice – SOW

While accepting his Golden Globes for his performance in The Siouxsie and the Banshees of Inisherin, Colin Farrell took a second to slobber on presenter Ana de Armas’ performance in Blonde and said he cried himself to sleep after watching it. Judging by the reviews, many cried themselves to sleep too, but because they can’t believe they wasted almost 3 hours of their life on that tragedy porn – Lainey Gossip

The SAG nominations came out today. And I’m not saying that Colin Farrell stuffed the SAG nominations box (cut to a bunch of thirsty hos jealous of the SAG nominations box), but somehow Ana de Armas got a lead actress nomination for Blonde over Michelle Williams for The Fabelmans – Variety

The douchetastic duo that is The Chainsmokers admit that they’ve had threesomes together with fans. And now I need to pour liquid antibiotics into my ear holes to cleanse my brain of the image of The Chainsmokers going, “Brah, I’d high-five you right now but no homo,” as they pound away with their socks on – OMG Blog

Of course they are. – Celebitchy

Jeff Beck, who many consider THEE greatest rock guitarist in the history of rock guitarists, died today shortly after contracting bacterial meningitis. Jeff was with his family, some of his rock star friends, and very close friend Johnny Depp at the time of his death. He was 78 – Billboard

In more news of sadness, Tatjana Patitz, one of the original supermodels who graced George Michael’s video for Freedom ’90, died at 56 in California. Tatjana’s agent said that she died of breast cancer. Rest in peace, Tatjana. And FUCK CANCER. – Insider

Pic: Netflix

Tags: Night Crumbs

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