Night Crumbs
A strange thing happened at the MTV VMAs last night. The black carpet wasn’t rolled up and everyone wasn’t told to take their bland-dressed asses home right after Lil Nas X destroyed everyone else’s ensembles by showing up as the glorious love child of Cher’s iconic 1986 Oscar look and Iman’s ultra-glamorous 2021 Met Gala sun look. Because really, the carpet was over once Lil Nas X gave us the stunning sight of him looking like one of Tammy Faye’s favorite saints, the Patron Saint of Fake Eyelashes! – Celebitchy
Britney Spears had the time this past weekend and posted a 22-minute YouTube video where she told the tale of her 13-year conservatorship and also said that she’s turned down a million tell-all interviews including one with Oprah. The video has since been taken down, and I’m guessing it was taken down by God. Because God doesn’t want us peons to know that someone actually turned down The Mighty O! – Billboard
As expected, Johnny Depp made a “comeback” appearance at the MTV VMAs and the whole thing was so pathetic and awkward that it probably made people think, “Hmm, maybe Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley’s VMAs kiss wasn’t that awkward after all.” – Lainey Gossip
Not even the dynamic duo of Tilda Swinton and Idris Elba could save this weekend’s shit gutter of a box office – Pajiba
Julianne Hough and “longtime friend” Ben Barnes are apparently a thing now, and this has caused some of his fans to torch their “I Heart Ben Barnes” t-shirts and turn on him. Those former BB fans better watch it, because if they don’t, Julianne is going to send her exorcised butt demons after them! – ONTD
“Oh, you shady tricks are only taking a picture with us so you can post it and get people talking about how you might be back together” is definitely what those pigs are thinking while drinking water next to a topless Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk – Us Weekly
In case you missed it, here’s Fergie yell-talking during Jack Harlow’s MTV VMAs performance of his song First Class (aka the butchered version of Fergie’s Glamorous) – Just Jared
All hail our new Hot Slut of the Month grand champion, the late great Freya, who sunk down the competition faster than she sunk boats while lounging on them. Freya posthumously won July’s HSOTM grand battle after getting nearly 46% of the votes. Thanks to all who voted!
Pic: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages.com/Cover Images