Night Crumbs

June 3, 2022 / Posted by:

The pile of dried-up bat turds that is Morbius will once again stink up theaters this weekend, just several weeks after the critical flop debuted on VOD services. As for the reason why Morbius has been added to 1,000 theater screens this weekend, the theory is that it’s reached “cult status” thanks to becoming a popular internet joke meme and Sony is trying to capitalize on that. Cult status? THAT BITCH?! Please. Dr. Frank-N-Furter, the star of a real cult classic, would bust out an eye roll over that but I’m sure Frank-N-Furter doesn’t want to risk knocking a fake eyelash off. Morbius is not worth it! –

On one hand, we do not need a remake, revival, reboot, or rewhatever of American Gigolo, but on the other lubed-up hand, we could use more sightings of Jon Bernthal’s nipple knobs and cum gutters – Lainey Gossip

It’s that time again for mysterious sources involved in The NeverEnding Story (no, not that movie with Falkor but Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s never-ending custody battle) to pipe up with more thoughts on that mess. And this time a source says that Brad thinks that St. Angie is purposefully trying to drag shit out in the name of stalling. Yes, we know, Brad, I mean, source, we got it the first time you said it! – Us Weekly

The cuteness of Baby Yoda made Pedro Pascal want to have babies – Celebitchy

Even though Kathy Najimy just worked with Sarah Jessica Parker on the Hocus Pocus sequel, she has publicly shown love and support to Kim Cattrall. QUICK! Somebody tell Bette Midler to temporarily press pause on being messy on Twitter to weigh in on this drama. Because we obviously need every Sanderson sister’s thoughts!  – PinkNews

Beavis and Butt-Head are going to space! No, Tommy Cruise and David Miscavige aren’t finally launching into the universe to return to their home planet. The actual Beavis and Butt-Head are back in a new movie that will come out later this month. He he he he… I said come. – OMG Blog

At unemployment offices across the land, cherubs are waiting in line and that’s because they’re out of a job after once again learning that true love is a lie (see: Bella Thorne breaking up with her fiance) – Just Jared

Pic: Sony

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