The First Reviews For “Morbius” Are Out, And It Sounds Like Jared Leto Should Prepare His Razzie Speech Now

March 31, 2022 / Posted by:

Jared Leto must have heard all the people joking that he’s aging like a vampire because he decided to star in Marvel’s Morbius, the story of a man who is also a doctor who is also a guy with a rare blood disease who is also a vampire. If that sounds convoluted as hell, well – you’re not the only one. Initial reviews have been released of Morbius, in theaters everywhere tomorrow. Jared is likely going to wish he could go back to the time when people were simply cracking jokes about him aging like a vampire, because now they’re cracking jokes about how god-awful terrible his vampire movie is. I’d make an “It sucks!” vampire pun, but honestly, it feels like pretty much every film review writer has already beat me to it.

The good news is that Jared’s appearance in the 2016 bomb Suicide Squad is no longer his most embarrassing comic book-based film role stain on his résumé anymore. But, that’s pretty much the extent of the good news. Because at least Jared was barely even in Suicide Squad! This time around, it’s all Jared, which isn’t great when you’ve got reviews saying things like, “Morbius is not good” and “…it’s bad.Uproxx has the first reactions to Morbius, which means all the reviews from people whose job it is to sit and write about movies.

When I first learned about the existence of fatbergs, aka a waste management term for the coagulation of non-biodegradable solids like baby wipes and cooking oil, I felt an intense sympathy for anyone who has to deal with those bloated, hideous masses, regardless of the fact that they were getting paid to do so. And I still do, but my sympathy has been temporarily put on hold and redistributed to anyone who had to see and review Morbius for work. It truly sounds like a thankless, awful job. Without further adieu, here are the first responses to Morbius:

Over on Rotten Tomatoes, Morbius currently holds a score of 16% rotten (the audience score will have to wait until after the film premieres in theaters tomorrow night). But despite the fact that the general public has yet to set eyes on this disaster, they’ve still gone ahead and decided to start dunking on it 24 hours prior to its premiere date. If you had plans for this weekend, now is the time to ditch them. You’re either going to want to make your way to a movie theater to experience the abysmal dullness of Morbius in person or stay in and enjoy the exponentially more enjoyable takes on Twitter.

Last weekend, Oscar-winning actor Jared Leto won his first Razzie award, a Worst Supporting Actor for his role as Uncle Spaghetti Rubber Face in House of Gucci. Something tells me that won’t be his first and last. It’s enough for the Razzies to create a special category for Jared Leto called Fool Me Once Shame On You, Fool Me Twice Shame On Me -Worst Second Performance in a Superhero Movie by Jared Leto That He Should Have Turned Down. At the very least, these reviews should force Jared Leto to take a good hard look at his choice to go method all the time. It’s not bad acting to break character every once in a while on set to ask the person next to you: “Is this bad? Like, on a scale of 1 to 10, how embarrassing is this gonna be.

Pic: Sony Pictures Releasing

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