Night Crumbs
BREAKING (WIND) NEWS: Every highly-esteemed literary journal across the land is reporting that President Joe Biden dropped a long and loud fart near Duchess Camilla at the COP26 climate change conference and she can’t stop talking about it! I don’t know what the big deal is. I mean, Joe Biden’s b-hole was on topic since it was blowing out greenhouse gas emissions. Besides, Camilla should be used to being around shit-scented hot air since her brother-in-law Prince Andrew’s mouth hole is constantly blowing out shit-scented hot air – Gawker
After being away in South Africa for six months, Princess Charlene is back in Monaco. And surprisingly as soon as she stepped off the plane, she didn’t say, “Oh, I think I forgot something back in South Africa,” before getting back on the plane and flying out of that bitch – Celebitchy
Marvel’s Eternals opened at #1 at the box office with $71 million, which depending on who you ask, means it did well money-wise or Marvel’s days of shoving 500 end credit scenes into a movie are numbered since this flop is taking ’em down!!! – Lainey Gossip
On Saturday night, Dionne Warwick graciously graced that little show Saturday Night Live with her legendary and hussy-destroying presence – (fourth video down) Pajiba
Jemima Khan says she quit as a consultant on The Crown because she didn’t like how they handled a storyline involving her friend Princess Diana – Just Jared
A sound of Chynna Phillips singing “holy spirit active” on Family Feud has become popular on TikTok, so she explained to the kids who she is, and as she did that, every one of my pubes turned grey and fell off since I’m obviously older than Methuselah’s pacifier now – SOW
Laura Osnes (or “Small Town Sandy” to those of us who watched that Grease reality show) continues to be the Ice Cube and Emilio Estevez of musical theater stars because she lost out on another gig and probably because she still doesn’t want to get vaccinated – Deadline
What you’re hearing is the clasp on Vanesa Hudgens’ crop top cardigan thing screaming while trying to hold everything together – Popoholic
Pic: Wenn.com