“Joker” But Make It Fashion

February 17, 2021 / Posted by:

Because we live in a time when every psychotic dead-hearted cartoon villain of pure evil needs a movie that tries to explain to us why they became a psychotic dead-hearted cartoon villain of pure evil, Disney has made Cruella de Vil’s origin story. As expected, Disney put out the first trailer for Cruella starring Emma Stone as the diabiolical hell demon who goes on to plot the murder of PUPPEHS in the name of fashion (in other words, Pimp Mama Kris’ greatest inspiration). And Emma Stone’s campy British accent in the trailer is really something, so I’m sure the movie ends with the Dalmations being like, “Okay, okay, lady from La La Land, you win. If you stop with that accent, we’ll give you our coats,” as they zip their fur off.

Cruella takes place in 1970s London, and Emma Stone plays Estella, a con artist and wannabe fashion designer who really turns to the puppy-killing darkside thanks to her union with a fashion legend played by Dame Emma Thompson, via Disney:

Cruella, which is set in 1970s London amidst the punk rock revolution, follows a young grifter named Estella, a clever and creative girl determined to make a name for herself with her designs. She befriends a pair of young thieves who appreciate her appetite for mischief, and together they are able to build a life for themselves on the London streets. One day, Estella’s flair for fashion catches the eye of the Baroness von Hellman, a fashion legend who is devastatingly chic and terrifyingly haute, played by two-time Oscar® winner Emma Thompson (Howards End, Sense & Sensibility). But their relationship sets in motion a course of events and revelations that will cause Estella to embrace her wicked side and become the raucous, fashionable and revenge-bent Cruella.

Cruella, which was directed by Craig Gillespie (director of I, Tonya), also stars Mark Strong, Joel Fry, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Jamie Demetriou, Emily Beecham, and Paul Walter Hauser.

Many on Twitter have already said that this young Cruella de Vil looks like Harley Quinn after listening to the Sex Pistols once, but I see a bootleg version of Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman after listening to the Sex Pistols once. And when Emma Stone says, “Hear me roar,” in her British accent, it sounds like, “Hear me raw.” Every bareback ho’s new tagline!

And it was nice of Katniss Everdeen to lend Cruella one of her fiery old ones.

Disney is still planning to release Cruella in theaters only on May 28. Does that trailer look like 101 lumps of meh? Yes. Am I going to watch it when Disney inevitably says “fuck it” to releasing it in theaters only and also release it on Disney+? Definitely. But I will have a palate cleanser on standby and that palate cleanser will be Glenn Close’s over-the-top glamorously cartoony Cruella, aka the only live-action Cruella we really need.

And since Disney just has to do an origin story on all of its villains, skinny actresses everywhere need to sign up for a swimming class at the Y. Because an Ursula origin story is so next.

Pic: Disney

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