Hot Slut Of The Day!
Marathon Bar!
Marathon Bar may sound like the name of a bar where you can do endless running laps in while drinking (also named, Barf Bar), but in the 1970s, Marathon was the name of a candy bar that was milk chocolate-covered caramel braided elegance. My guess was that Marathon eaters were too busy being wowed by the bar’s gorgeous braid that they didn’t realize Marathon was suckering them out of some candy with those holes!
The Mars Candy Company started selling Marathon in 1973. While it did have a bunch of holes in it, it made up for that with its length. It was 8 inches (wink wink) of caramel chocolate goodness, and Marathon was so confident about its size that the wrapper featured an 8-inch ruler on it. Note to hung Grindr tricks, if you ever want to woo an old ho who grew up in the 70s, send them a pic of your dick next to an 8-inch Marathon candy bar wrapper.
The mascot of Marathon was Marathon John. Not only did Marathon John have the name of a porn star, but he also dressed like the Pope of Pimps. Here’s a Marathon commercial from 1975 starring Marathon John, the villain Quick Claude, and Quick Claude’s bear sidekick. When Quick Claude brags that he does everything fast (that’s not exactly a brag, Quick Claude), Marathon John enters the scene and lets Quick Claude know that he can’t eat a Marathon Bar quick. Marathon was marketed as the candy bar that lasts a good long time.
Mars got rid of Marathon in 1981, but Cadbury sells a similiar candy bar called Curly Wurly. I’m sure it’s not the same. I mean, Marathon was an 8-incher that bragged about lasting a good long time. So I’m sure Curly Wurly doesn’t have the delicious taste of sexual innuendos in it.