Open Post: Hosted By The Porch Pirate Whose Getaway Was Thwarted By A Snow Bank

A couple of days ago a sneaky porch pirate hit a neighborhood in Mississauga (outside of Toronto), in the hopes of pilfering some poor unprotected packages off suburban doorsteps. Unfortunately for the thief, he was immediately caught red-handed and on camera by one of the homeowners. The guy runs back to his car, calling, “Sorry, sorry!” (this is Canada after all), and tries to make a quick getaway. But that bitch karma works fast, cuz he reverses his little hatchback directly into a pile of snow. And then he’s stuck.

The bandit frantically spins his front wheels, but it’s useless. He jumps out of his car a few times, trying to dig out the snow with his hands, and physically push his car out of the snow. But anyone who’s ever been stuck in a snowbank knows the only way out is to sheepishly call your father and brothers for help. Or, you know, a professional.

The homeowners call the cops, and the cameraman sarcastically asks the thief, “You want me to get you a shovel?” He also points out that the pilferer’s car is in front-wheel drive, so if he wants to escape, he needs to get his wheels back on the ground. Eventually, the police show up and arrest the man.

Here’s the full video:

The 33-year-old porch pirate from Brampton has been charged with one count of theft under $5000 and one count of fraud. He’s been released and will appear in court at a future date. Crime never pays, kids! But he coulda gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that pesky snowbank!

Pic: YouTube