Gywneth Paltrow Is Shilling Injectables Now

September 22, 2020 / Posted by:

The last time Gwyneth Paltrow convinced women to shove shit into their bodies, sales of Monistat 5 skyrocketed. Now, after giving the Big Yeast industry a boost, Gwyneth is getting into the injectables business. In a recent interview/infoview with Glamour, Gwyneth opened up about being the new face of Xeomin, a prescription “antiwrinkle injection targeting frown lines” whose major selling point seems to be that it’s “uniquely pure” and “super clean” when we know damn well it’s the same injectable botulinum toxin you can find in just about any cow pie or bulging can like all the rest. Between hawking the jade vagina egg and this boutique Botox bullshit, Gwyneth is unchecked bacteria’s biggest booster!

Here’s what Gwyneth had to say to Glamour:

Glamour: For a long time it was considered taboo to get injectables, let alone be a spokesperson for them. What made you decide to be the face of Xeomin?

Gwyneth Paltrow: Well first of all,  it’s a uniquely pure product, so it’s better for the body. I had tried a different antiwrinkle injection when I was 40 and had a really scary result, so I was like, I’m not going to [try that again]. But my friend who’s a plastic surgeon talked me into just having a tiny drop of Xeomin here [touches the spot between her eyes]. He was like, “This is a purified formula, and it’s going to be a very natural result.”

I don’t know if the good folks at Xeomin have truly revolutionized the cosmetic use of neurotoxins, but they’ve done one thing nobody else has managed to do which is put a warning label on Gwyneth Paltrow.

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“I want women around the world, particularly at this time, to feel empowered to make choices that help them feel good and beautiful. Every woman’s approach to self-care is so individualized – so unique – which is why I’m encouraging women to find time to focus on themselves. For me, researching proven ingredients, and sharing my favorite products is a core part of my philosophy, therefore I’m thrilled to share my latest find with you. Xeomin is an anti-wrinkle injection that’s uniquely purified to treat frown lines without unnecessary proteins, and has become an integral part of my self-care routine. I’m excited to partner with Merz Aesthetics to become the new face of Xeomin.” @gwynethpaltrow #DaretoSelfCare #LaterFrownLines #HelloXeomin⁣ ⁣ For full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning and Medication Guide, see @xeominaestheticpi.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Xeomin® is an FDA-approved treatment used to temporarily improve the look of moderate to severe frown lines between the eyebrows (glabellar lines) in adults. Ask your doctor to tell you all about Xeomin. The effects of Xeomin may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be a sign of a life-threatening condition. Side effects may include allergic reactions or injection-site pain, eyelid drooping, and swelling.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Xeomin is available by prescription only.

A post shared by Xeomin® Aesthetic (@xeominaesthetic) on

Additional symptoms may include eye-rolling, barely concealed irritation, incredulity, weary sighs, and ironically, frown lines. But just because Gwyeth’s now in the pockets of Big Pharma, doesn’t mean she’s not the same goofy, relatable BFF-type she was before. She may live in a mansion and get checks for doing the absolute least, but she too knows the importance of self-care in #theseuncertaintimes

How have you been practicing self-care doing the pandemic? Has it changed your beauty routine at all?

I mean, this is probably the first time I’ve worn makeup in months and months and months. I think self-care during the pandemic was really kind of just being around my kids and my husband, cooking, and doing more masks. Because you’re home sitting around, doing masks for your hair, and just kind of back to basics—meditating, walking, that kind of thing.

Was? WAS!? The pandemic still happening last time I checked, which I do obsessively about every 5 seconds, night and day, until all my hair falls out from stress. How am I gonna look trying to slap a hair mask on my bald-ass head, Gwyneth?!

Pic: Instagram

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