Last weekend that greedy SOB Scrooge McDuck replaced Mickey Mouse as head honcho of Disney in a wily Succession-style coup d’état. Scrooge’s first order of business? Re-open Disney World to the idiot public! Despite record-breaking coronavirus cases in Florida. Cash > lives. Ain’t that America?
Despite claiming they were imposing special safety measures like mandatory masks and social distancing, Disney was still criticized for their very ~Florida~ decision. And you bet your ass a bunch of adult Disney freaks immediately found a loophole regarding the masks. They were seen eating and drinking, mouths exposed, while walking around the park. Well, Disney World quickly changed the rules to cover their asses. The new guidelines state that guests can remove their masks while eating and drinking, but only if they remain stationary.
A Disney fan confirmed the news on Instagram:
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😷Mask rule update😷 Disney has updated face covering guidelines to say that guests may only remove masks when ACTIVELY eating and drinking, and must be stationary and physically distanced when doing so.😷 This means no more munching Mickey pretzels or sipping drinks as you stroll. This is a *good* thing for at least TWO big reasons: 1. It keeps us all safer, and 2. Let’s be honest — it’s just a whole lot easier to soak up every last bite of that perfect, plastic cheese with your Mickey pretzel if you’re not also trying to walk.🥨🧀 📷 Airdropped photo and inexplicable scorn for delicious plastic cheese courtesy of @carlyewisel 🧀 #disneyworld #waltdisneyworld #disneymasks #wearamask #disneytips #disneyfood #disneysnacks #mickeypretzel #plasticcheese #disneyfood #disneymom #dvcmember #disneytravel #disneypassholder #wdwap #passholder #apholder #disneymagicmoments #themagicisback #disneygram #instadisney
I, for one, love sitting and eating. Why waste delicious food time and precious calories on the hustle and bustle of walking life? Sit your ass down and enjoy!
If ya wanna ingest, ya gotta rest!™ If ya gotta eat, get off your feet!© And if you’re thirsty, sit down firsty!® Dear Mr. Scrooge McDuck, those genius taglines can be all yours for just one measly sack of your precious gold coins.