Panic rooms? So 2002. 2020 is all about passages! Secret passages. At least that’s the plan for David Beckham and Victoria Beckham. They want to construct an escape tunnel under their mansion in Cotswolds (about a hundred miles west of London) in case someone tries to break in. Or in case of another world war, which isn’t looking so farfetched at this point.
Apparently, Posh and Becks were spooked when fellow footballer, Tottenham’s Dele Alli, was robbed at knifepoint in his North London mansion. According to leaked planning documents, they want to build a security hut and install “an underground passage linking the family’s nine-bed Cotswold pad to their luxury car garage” Yeesh, how much will that cost? Maybe they should be pinching pandemic pence?
via Page Six:
The Beckhams have been quarantining with their brood at the nine-bedroom, $8 million home, which comes with a tennis court, tree house, plunge pool, fire pit and floor-to-ceiling windows.
“The proposed development includes a new basement cellar constructed beneath the extension to the existing garage outbuilding with a linked walkway,” according to the plans.
“The basement cellar beneath is for storage of wine and the proposed use of the outbuilding is solely in association with the main dwelling house. … It will improve security for the occupants of the property.”
First off, perhaps it would have been a good idea to keep the secret tunnel plans an actual secret. And don’t spill the fact that it just links to the “luxury car garage”. Because then the bad guys could just break into the garage. Unless the garage is just red herring. Maybe this tunnel actually spits the Beckhams all the way out onto the sooty streets of jolly ol’ London. Watch all the footie fans, stalkers, and paps jump into manholes, crawl through sewers, and try to find the secret entrance (and fabled Beckham family treasure) in a madcap Goonies-esque quest.
But listen, the super-rich aren’t the only ones who have secret escape plans. I share my living space with roughly 50,000 ants, and those little guys have constructed a complex network of passages and tunnels inside my apartment walls. So if someone breaks in, boom! I punch into my wall, grab the cat, and get to tunnelin’! Get lost in the maze-like crawl space? Boom! The ants make me their queen. Win, win.