Open Post: Hosted by Justin Bieber’s Pubestache, Which Isn’t Going Away Anytime Soon

February 12, 2020 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber still doesn’t care what anyone thinks – he will NOT shave his disgusting moustache. Not for his wife, not for his adoring fans, not for his SNL performance this past weekend, not even for actual real-life protesters.

Some guy known as “Dude With Sign” (allegedly a “viral sensation”… OK) “protested” Justin’s new stache in New York, and Justin replied with his own sign that just said “No”. First off, this is a vast conspiracy starting at the top (I’m looking at you, Scooter Braun). Both cardboard signs are made from the same box! The writing is identical! Finally, and this is what really clinched it for me… if you turn the signs around, there is promo for JB’s album release date:

View this post on Instagram

Album out Friday. @dudewithsign

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

Call me crazy, but I’m starting to think this “Dude with Sign” character is hardly the grassroots activist we thought he was. Just another cog in the machine! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! But back to JB’s pubestache. A source tells Page Six

“He feels that for years he’s been the pretty boy and loves how much everyone hates it and thinks it’s hilarious,” one insider shared.

Yes. Hilarious. Justin Bieber: the funniest Canadian comic since John Candy. The source went on to say:

“He doesn’t even like it himself, but the more people hate it the longer he wants to keep it”

See, if Justin were twelve, I’d fully support that logic. I wore the same BOCA sweatshirt every single day of the year in 2000, because my mom hated it (did America have BOCA? Your loss if you didn’t…). Anyway, it was a spite shirt. And this is a spite stache. But Justin is now a twenty-five year old man. And with that stache, he’s slowly transforming into the kind of guy who would perv outside a young, hairless, original Bieber’s schoolyard – JK! LOL! The Biebs never went to school!!!

Pics: Instagram

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