Johnny Depp Is Producing A Michael Jackson Musical

And no, Johnny Depp isn’t a part of the Michael Jackson musical that is going to Broadway. Although, he’d make a great Bubbles (no offense to Bubbles).

Instead, Johnny Depp’s company Infinitum Nihil is financing an unauthorized musical about Micheal Jackson‘s life as told through the perspective of his glove. Yes. His glove. The show is called “For the Love of a Glove: An Unauthorized Musical Fable About the Life of Michael Jackson, as told by his Glove”  and was created by Julien Nitzberg. This makes sense, because who hasn’t wondered how Michael Jackson’s glove has been doing after its owner caught on fire during a Pepsi video shoot and faced severalchild abuse allegations? We’ve all been saying: WHY WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE GLOVE. And now someone has and it’s becoming a musical thanks to Johnny Depp.

The weirdness doesn’t end there, because it gets even weirder. Julian Nitzberg believes MJ’s glove is a man and is actually the one who has been doing the child abuse, and is also an alien who feeds on virgin boy blood. But not only is this a rhinestone-encrusted slap to the face of MJ’s alleged victims, Julian also says he turned down big TV money to do his version. According to Page Six:

“I’m known for writing a lot of biopics,” he said. “A major TV network wanted me to write a [Jackson] movie … but the question came up [about] how to deal with the child-abuse allegations.” When the network and Nitzberg disagreed, “I said, how’s this? Everything MJ has been accused of has actually been caused by his glove, which is actually an alien from outer space [and] feeds on virgin boy blood. They laughed and said, can you do the normal version?” But, “It was morally kind of repugnant to me to do … I turned down a really big paycheck.” He thought, “I’m going to go back to this … and do this as a musical.” But, “we just couldn’t get the financing.”

Right…. because when dealing with something as complex and horrific as child abuse, it makes sense to dignify it with a fictionalized alien possessed glove who feeds on boy blood. Problem Solved! And if you were wondering how Emmanuel Lewis and Corey Feldman fit into this mess, don’t worry. They’ll be involved….as life-sized puppets.

Actors star with life-size puppets of the Jackson 5, Donny Osmond, Emmanuel Lewis, Corey Feldman and Bubbles the Chimp. Nitzberg first came up with the concept 17 years ago.

It’s interesting that good-decision-maker Johnny Depp thought a good way to get rid of bad press and waste more money is to fund a musical about sex abuse through aliens looking for boy blood. I mean, what’s next? A buddy comedy featuring the Taliban?!

Never mind that this is a mess on several levels, it’s just going to cause a bigger rift between Michael’s red leather jacket and his glove.

Pic: Wenn.com