Open Post: Hosted By The Man Whose Life And Arm Were Saved By A Taco

November 24, 2019 / Posted by:

At one time or another, food has saved all of our lives. Who hasn’t battled heartbreak, bad news, or depression with ice cream, or chimichangas, or a can of Dinty Moore beef stew, or Wendy’s Baconator? But, in the case of Tucson, Arizona’s Ryan Bishop, food LITERALLY saved his life. Tucson’s KOLD (via Huffpost) reports that Ryan was saved from being shot to death by a taco! Or least from getting a bullet wound to the arm. You can die from that without direct pressure, you know.

Ryan was approaching the Pima City Fairgrounds in his car last Sunday afternoon when his driver’s side window exploded!

“I had a very loud explosion happen in my window,” Bishop told the station. He said that at first he thought a rock broke it, and he decided to pull over and inspect.

Ryan should have just kept driving his ass to a Safelite Auto Glass location to fix his window because things got terrifying when he got out of his ride.

“I opened the door, took a look around it and then I hear this ‘Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!’” he said. “So I got in my car and continued driving.”

He pulled over eventually and called the police, who soon arrived at the scene. They discovered a bullet sitting on his dashboard, and that’s when Bishop focused on the taco he had been eating when the shots rang out.

You see, Ryan normally drives with his arm out resting out the window but he didn’t this time because of the taco he was eating. That’s where one of the first bullets hit.

“I’m pretty sure [eating a] taco saved my life, or at least stopped my arm from getting blown apart,” he said. “I had the window closed because I didn’t want pieces of the taco flying around.”

The Tuscon PD are currently investigating the shooting as “Criminal Damage / Malicious Mischief.” That sort of sounds like attempted arm murder to me, but I didn’t go to law school so what do I know.

What I do know is that the taqueria that Bishop eats at needs better-constructed taco shells or wraps if he’s afraid all of his taco’s contents are just going to fly out of it when he’s out on the road. It’s supposed to be portable food.

Pic: Creative Commons

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