Open Post: Hosted By The Ungodly New Version Of The Alphabet Song

October 29, 2019 / Posted by:

The Huffington Post says that this new version of the Alphabet Song was made in 2012 by Dream English, which is a site that teaches English to people by making “educational music that is not only filled with important phrases and grammar, but is also enjoyable to listen to.” That second point is highly debatable, but I’ll allow the first.

So this new version of the ABC Song was thought up by demonic mind of Matt R. a musician, songwriter and teacher. He made this version for people who are new to learning English. Saying that “young learners of English as a foreign language… have found this way [is] the most effective for teaching the letters.”

What does this version do which is so shocking? It changes the whole damn thing when it gets to the: “Elemenopee” part. You know? Like L, M, N, O, P? Matt slowed it all the way down and turned the fuck off the road. It’s like being taken on a trip to your friend’s house you’ve been a million times before only for your mother to take a jarring turn and bring you down an alleyway toward an orphanage.

Listen for yourself but once you do, you can’t un-hear it–Try singing along, it feels like you’re having a stroke:

 

The internet doesn’t like the change:

Listen, kids from everywhere need to learn the Elemenopee part! We cannot allow Elemenopee to be erased from our cultural landscape! The Muppets didn’t die on Plymouth Rock for this! This song screws up the alphabet harder than Joey!

Pic: YouTube

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