Grammys Be Warned: Adele Has Filed For Divorce

September 13, 2019 / Posted by:

Don’t even think about it, Beyoncé! Sure, there’s chatter that Adele’s album is already in the can and on track for a November release. Sure, that likely is already destined for Grammy greatness because it was done after she announced separated from husband Simon Konecki in April, but now she’ll be able to add a few divorce dubstep remixes to it and really rack up some trophies! Adele and Simon split five months ago, and the rest of us selfish bitches immediately got excited thinking we were saved from a BS album about happy motherhood and our gal would be going back to her bitter breakup roots. It sounds like we may get a string of bitter albums because Adele filed for divorce…and don’t forget that Simon may be entitled to half her assets!

People says (in so many words) that Simon must be a real pain in the ass to share a bathroom with because Adele – DID I MENTION NO PRENUP?!?! – filed for divorce yesterday in Los Angeles. California law makes it where he’s entitled to half. In May 2018, Forbes said Adele was worth $182 million. Simon runs Life Water and is believed to have about $1 million.

As with most divorces, I also think California law means you have to release polite divorce statements because here’s the one from Adele’s reps:

“Adele and her partner have separated. They are committed to raising their son together lovingly. As always they ask for privacy. There will be no further comment.”

More like no further comment until tracks 2, 4, 6, 7, 8 and 9 from Adele’s next album hit Spotify!


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