Open Post: Hosted By Heidi Montag’s Christian Pop Song

August 21, 2019 / Posted by:

There are a lot of choices for spiritual guidance: the writings of Jackie Collins, listening to the words of Pope Francis, and of course Heidi Montag‘s newest auto-tuned christian shit song “Glitter and Glory“. I know you probably read that as “Litter and Whory.”

Seriously, though, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt actually do sum up where the universe seems to be getting its moral compass from. So sure, Heidi Montag as a christian singer, fine. Makes sense!

According to Popdust:

After a seven-year hiatus from making music, she’s back to shed light on the difference between “glitter and glory” on her latest single. Yet, her over-stylized, over-produced, and auto-tuned song makes the reality TV star sound exactly the same as she did almost a decade ago. After a third listen, it bops in the same way Rebecca Black’s horrendous “Friday” captured the attention of a nation.

We’ve seen how well Heidi’s pop career has gone in the past, so this can only end well..

Montag is known as a D-List celebrity who spent over 2 million dollars of her own money trying to become pop music’s next Britney Spears. But now she’s back on The Hills reboot and making inflammatory comments. She recently came under fire for comments during an interview with Vanity Fair concluding that the cast is diverse simply because they “don’t all look the same.” She continued, “I mean Audrina has dark hair, Mischa has darker hair. But yeah, we’re California girls and it’s a group of friends.”

Glitter and Glory’s lyrics are like reading the diary of a 12-year-old who just discovered tik tok, Jesus, plastic surgery, and fame whoring all at the same time. Heidi seems to be trying to be spiritually woke but it’s coming across like her concern for diversity in television: not great.

The song calls back to a time when Montag didn’t understand the dark reality of D-list fame, like that time Montag bought into the “glitter” so much that she almost died after undergoing ten plastic surgery procedures or when she partied too hard to find her “glory.” Of course, the song doesn’t get into the nitty-gritty details—or anything of substance, really. It’s the kind of song California valley girls might sing along to at Hillsong church.

Heidi has given us a lot of guidance over the years: how to get a a reasonable amount of plastic surgeryhow to get along with your in-laws, and of course how to make sound financial decisions, so it’s nice that we can also turn to her for spiritual guidance.

And here’s the song that doesn’t sound like Heidi at all, so in other words, it sounds better than her other songs!

Pic: YouTube

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