John Mayer Might Be Trying To Get With Kourtney Kardashian

December 13, 2018 / Posted by:

You’re probably already in your end-of-the-world bunker because of (insert anything that’s on the news), but this should really make you get in your end-of-the-world bunker. As soon as soon as the tip of the hood on John Mayer’s David Duke touched the kooze of a Kartrashian, the earth’s core would explode over this unholy union.

UsWeekly says that at GQ’s Men of the Year party in L.A. last Thursday night, mega slut John and The Slow One talked and flirted, and a source says he seemed “very into her.” John supposedly told Kourtney that it was “sweet serendipity” running into her and he hopes they meet up again. But a source, whose name definitely doesn’t rhyme with Gimp Llama Piss, tells the Kardashian Koven Headquarters that is E! that Kourtney is sort of into John but has no plans in ending the world just yet.

“Kourtney is going with the flow of her dating life and is open to new relationships. She isn’t seriously dating anyone currently and hasn’t been for awhile now. Her and Luka Sabbat were very casual, and Kourtney is open to new flings. They connected, but Kourtney really didn’t think twice about it. Kourtney thinks John is definitely charming but they don’t have any scheduled plans to see each other as of now. She loves her freedom and has been very invested in the holiday season with her kids.”

Luka Sabbat is 21 years old, and Kourtney’s piece before him, Younes Bendjima, is 25. John Mayer is 41, so he’s about two decades too old for 39-year-old Kourtney. But if John and Kourtney got together, would it be he who finally brings the Koven down, or is the Kardashian Kurse strong enough to take him down? Only Lucifer knows the answer to that. I bet Pimp Mama Kris is waving a flaming cross in front of Kourtney’s crotch to lure John Mayer’s David Duke dick over. She loves a challenge.


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