#MeToo Has Yet To Penetrate Through John Travolta’s Dead Terrier Wig

May 17, 2018 / Posted by:

John Travolta and his deep fried platypus lace front may live on another planet (a planet where it’s perfectly okay for your paws to wander to the crotch of a massage therapist without permission, allegedly), but he is an actor in Hollywood and he is currently at Cannes where there’s been a lot of talk about #MeToo. But the pesky details of #MeToo haven’t made it into Johnny’s ears, because he’s a citizen of the globe with a global viewpoint. Xenu, say what, girl?

During a press event for the future flop Gotti, The Los Angeles Times says that the moderator spent most of the time slobbering out words of praise about John’s career, but they did bring up #MeToo and 82 women marching at Cannes to protest against the underrepresentation of female filmmakers at the festival. John Travolta hasn’t really heard much about #MeToo, because I guess if he wants to hear stories about people getting sexually harassed and attacked by men in power, he’d just go to David Miscavige’s office and they’d kiki about what they did that day. John let out this real brain-twister of an answer:

“I honestly don’t know a ton about it, because I try my best to keep people equal — men, women, races. My father was brilliant at it. He had a global viewpoint. I’m a citizen of the globe, and I’m a citizen of groups and people.”

You know you’ve had too much Scientology when…

Surprisingly, no one held up their hand and asked John if he needed some help in loosening his wig since it’s obviously suffocating his brains. But John did get a lot of applause for that answer, and it’s not known if the applause was from audience members who were planted by Scientology to clap at everything he said. The moderator followed that question up with a question about protests. Since the chip in his brain that controls all his thoughts was programmed by Scientology, he gave a very Scientology-like answer to that too:

“Protest is valid. But how do you measure — how do you differentiate the moment where it becomes invalid? It’s an art, almost, to say, ‘OK, let’s protest, but we’ve achieved that here and these particular rights. Now, let’s get smart about how we use that … protest so it doesn’t get into an irrational perspective.’ If we go back to the humanities of being each other’s friends and wanting and caring at a deep level, then we’ll make it. But it’s a dwindling spiral out there.”

John Travolta is a Scientologist who has had several sexual harassment/assault allegations made against him, so that’s exactly the type of answer we should expect him to give about #MeToo. Hell, that’s the type of answer we should expect every Scientologist to give about #MeToo, because again, they’ve all got the same programmed microchip in their brain. Ask Tom Cruise about #MeToo and he’d probably say, “As a citizen of the globe….” Although, whoever is programming their chips should change “citizen of the globe” to “citizen of the galaxy.” That little oops is embarrassing to the brand.

Pic: Wenn.com

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