Open Post: Hosted By Prince Louis’ Birth Certificate 

May 1, 2018 / Posted by:

When you pop out a kid, the government always comes for your ass to do a little ‘splaining on a birth certificate in case said child gets lost in a T.J. Maxx dressing room (thanks, Mom), they can eventually figure out who he or she belongs to. No matter how fancy you are, you have to fill out a birth certificate, so Prince William and Duchess Kate did that for all three of their kids, including their new son, Louis Arthur Charles. What has tongues wagging, though, is what those two put down for their occupation.

On the typed birth certificate under parents’ occupation, he put “Prince of the United Kingdom” and she put “Princess of the United Kingdom.
 I’m sure nobody has seen something at that level since Prince had to put down his occupation for a Minnesota driver’s license and jotted down “Prince of Many A-panty.” This isn’t the first time they have put “Prince” and Princess” as their occupations. They did the same thing with Prince George and Princess Charlotte.

Kate gave birth last Monday, and people might think it’s a little bonkers to list “princess” as your title since some of us have real people, pain-in-the-ass jobs like “bitchy writer and lover of chicken nuggets” or “Sarah Huckabee Sanders,” but I tell those critics to stand down! The life of a princess isn’t all corgis, rosé, and hiding in the nearest Buckingham Palace broom closet when you hear Meghan Markle coming down the hall. Kate had to get up, get her hair brushed, put on a Rosemary’s Baby costume, and stand in heels in front of the hospital after a baby barely slid out of her hoo-ha a few hours before.


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