Ryan Lochte Has Met His Match

February 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Most of the athletes at this year’s Winter Olympics in PyeongChang are there to use every bit of their strength, stamina, and skill to bring a medal home to their respective countries. And some are there cuz’ it’s sort of like Spring Break except it’s in the winter. In South Korea. At the Olympics. But, like Dave Duncan’s fellow Olympic doofus Ryan Lochte always says – “JEAH!” Or something.

Canadian ski-crosser Dave Duncan is upholding the tradition of at least one athlete per Olympic Games acting the fool and getting caught. At least doping is sort of a quiet scandal. Teaming up with your wife and manager to steal a car to go for a drunken joyride at the Olympics is SCREAMING to the world that you lit all of your fucks on fire with the Olympic torch. Hopefully he can blame this on the police like his spiritual predecessor.

CTV News reports that Dave, his wife Maja Duncan and his manager Willie Raine (who is also a Conservative senator back home) were arrested last night for allegedly stealing a Hummer they noticed was idling near the bar they were at. They proceeded to drive the vehicle to the athlete’s village while trashed. Big Willie was the guy behind the wheel and police say that he had a blood alcohol level of 0.16%. South Korea’s legal limit is 0.05%. Soju doesn’t play. It should noted that not everyone was conscious enough to greet the police after they were pulled over.

One of the people in the vehicle was passed out when police arrived, the Canadian Press reports.

Dave and his wife released a statement in which they claim to be “deeply sorry.”

“We engaged in behaviour that demonstrated poor judgement and was not up to the standards expected of us as Members of the Canadian Olympic Team or as Canadians,” they said.

Raine also apologized for his “inexcusable” actions.

“Words are not enough to express how sorry I am. I have let my teammates, friends and my family down. I would also like to apologize to the owner of the vehicle that was involved,” he said.

It’s not known yet whether or not they’ll be charged with auto theft or if Senator Raine will be charged with drunk driving. Punishment for drunk driving in South Korea is imprisonment up to three years, or a large fine. The accused were released from police custody early this morning. It’s possible that Duncan was wilding out to kill some sadness over coming in eighth overall in his event.

Don’t let this blow your image of Canada. They’re still the nicest people on the planet. When Duncan and his tiny entourage were arrested, I’m sure there were plenty of polite apologies all around.

Pic: Facebook

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