Meghan Markle Is Leaving “Suits.” Shit, I Wonder Why?

November 14, 2017 / Posted by:

When Meghan Markle isn’t viciously rubbing the fact that she has the keys to the royal ginger jewel box in our faces, she does acting stuff on the USA Network show Suits. But since no family member of THE QUEEN is allowed to tarnish the pristine family name by doing pleasantly shit like acting on a basic cable show, Meghan is bouncing out of Suits. Sorry, but the only acting that British royals are allowed to do is act like they’re in a happy marriage.

Deadline says that Meghan, who has been on Suits since the beginning in 2011, is looking to leave after season 7. One of the stars of the show and Meghan’s love interest, whose name doesn’t matter since he’s not fucking PHG, is also leaving. The Hollywood Reporter says that Patrick J. Adams (that’s the one who isn’t fucking PHG, I decided to learn his name) is leaving Suits because he wants to do other projects. Meghan is leaving Suits because she wants to do her husband PHG every morning after waking up in her canopy princess bed.

THR says that Suits hasn’t been picked up for season 8 yet, but talks are going on and it’s probably going to happen. Deadline says the same thing. UsWeekly says that the other star of Suits, Gabriel Macht, has already signed on for another season.

At nearly every job I’ve had, we’d throw a little pizza goodbye party to any employee who was leaving. We’d put our money together to get them a gift, like a stupid plant for the cubicle at their next job, or a “There’s A Chance This Could Be Wine” mug, or whatever. But, besides jealous glares, what do you get someone whose next job is being a fucking princess?! I know that if I were Meghan’s co-worker I’d get her a giant trunk filled with an oxygen tank, an economy-sized jug of vodka and Kind Bars, and on the outside of it would be a  note that read: Do Not Open Until You Move Into PHG’s Pad At Kensington Palace. And then I’d hop inside when she wasn’t looking.

I had one co-worker leave our office for a job at the See’s Candies home office, which means he’d get free candy. On his last day, I couldn’t take the look of smug off his face with a sandblaster. Meghan’s face is going to be like that times ten billion at her Suits going away party. Nobody blames her.

And here’s Meghan’s probably-current fiancé talking to Stephen Fry and Fearne Cotton at the Mind Media Awards in London last night.


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