This Wreck Of A Union Was Bound To Happen At One Point…

May 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Bella Thorne is Lindsay Lohan’s successor in meth (I meant to type “successor in messiness” but that works too) and Scott Disick is the Brandon Davis of our time (aka a glob of douche discharge that we’d all probably do and live to regret after getting our gonorrhea results from the free clinic), so these two train wrecks were bound to crash into each other. This is probably going to end with Scott calling Bella a “firecrotch” to the paparazzi as whoever is the Parasite Hilton of our time (Hailey Baldwin? The Cash Me Ousside Girl? jiffpom?) cackles behind him.

I can’t keep up with the adventures of Scott Isadick and Bella Thorne’s genitals. The last alert I got from the CDC said that Scott’s dick was making regular visits to the crotch of Instagram model Ella Ross, and that Bella Thorne’s cooze was getting on basketball player Chandler Parsons. But Entertainment Tonight says that on Monday night, 19-year-old Bella and 33-year-old Scott hit up several thirst spots in L.A. together. SickHor first had dinner together at Look At Me ground zero called Catch before partying at The Nice Guy and The Peppermint Club. Some source says that they left The Peppermint Club together at around 1:30 in the morning and drove off in Scott’s car.

People’s source mouth-shat out a dingle of information that’ll definitely leave you feeling shocked. They say that ThornDick is probably just a casual fuck buddy situation that will be over as soon as the coke wears off:

“It was a real date. They were dancing together and getting cozy, but he was a total gentleman. It was just a fun night out. This isn’t going to be some long-term relationship.”

Scott has supposedly fallen face first off the wagon and is “drinking heavily” again and he admitted on the last episode of Kumming on the Katrashians that he’s a “horrible sex addict.” So yeah, this story might confirm that those two things are true.

Bella Thorne is the party girl mess we need during these sad times and Scott Disick’s relevancy is based on who he’s fucking, so they are a match made in fame whore hell and this make sense. But what doesn’t make sense is that there’s not one picture of Bella and Scott trying to get as much attention as possible by sucking face in front of The Nice Guy for the paps. There’s pictures of Bella hiding her face in his car but none of them together together. There are some paps whose permanent address is “In Front Of The Nice Guy,” so I love that there’s no pictures of them coming out together. I’ve gotten a hump day boost from picturing Bella and Scott making out and humping on each other as the paps stand there with their cameras down while thinking to themselves, “Yawn, too obvious.


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