Open Post: Hosted By Jeff Goldblum’s Nipples

December 12, 2016 / Posted by:

While many people in the country have a freshly-microwaved butt plug up their culos to keep from icicles forming on their assholes (and yes, that includes us delicates in California where it’s the hypothermia-inducing temperature of 65 degrees), Jeff Goldblum is sunning his 64-year-old nipples in Hawaii while on vacation with his knocked-up wife Emilie Livingston and their 17-month-old son Charlie Ocean (zero relation to Frank or Billy, I think).

Because of his 1960s business man eyeglasses and those highly conservative swim trunks (if there’s no EVB, extremely visible bulge, then that shit is pilgrim territory), Jeff Goldblum just needs a tie and he’d be ready for a serious business meeting on the beach.

And if you need to reheat your butt plug in the microwave, you can keep your down-low parts warm by looking at these pictures of Jeff Goldblum struttin’ his hot Jar Jar Binks body around the beach. And yes, yes I would. I mean, Jeff, not Jar Jar. Although, at this point, I’d probably do both.

Pics: Splash

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