Artistic Genius Kanye West Meant To Keep The Fashion People Waiting At His Show

September 9, 2016 / Posted by:

Not since a smallpox hospital burned down in the 1800s has Roosevelt Island seen a bigger disaster than the disaster that went down on Wednesday afternoon. Kanye West showed his latest collection of zombie rags and off-brand Capezio leotards for Yeezy, and it was a hot shit puddle of a mess from start to finish. Some models fainted, others nearly killed their ankles while trying to walk in the busted shoes and some fashion editors left after waiting more than an hour for it to start. Kanye’s collaborator and performance artist Vanessa Beecroft, who is a crazy mess in her own right, says that their shit show started 2 hours late, because it was meant to start 2 hours late, thankyouverymuch.

At the House of Peroni Fashion Week pop-up in NYC yesterday, Page Six asked Vanessa why the show started so late and why didn’t anyone from the Yeezy team help the poor models who fainted from the heat. Vanessa took a tip from her collaborator by reaching deep up into her ass to pull out two explantations. Vanessa says that the models didn’t pass out from a combination of overheating and dehydration. They passed out from the emotional stress of it all!

“That’s a production issue not related to me … I’m not sure why some people fainted yesterday, but in my case, when it has happened in my performances, it was the level of emotional stress … It wasn’t physical. There was food and water. The situation is so intense and people are looking at you and you are standing. Yesterday, I don’t know if it was because they were overwhelmed. I’m not sure … I was bothered yesterday in a sense that I’m sorry for what’s happening, but at the same time, I wouldn’t know how to prevent it if it was emotional.”

Miss Lady Kanye might be halfway right. I mean, if I was slowly baking in a black leotard while standing under the sun for hours, I would be stressed out and emotionally fucked-up over thinking about how if I die, I’ll forever be known as the human who sacrificed his life for Kanye’s fashion show. I can hear my mom after the cops broke the news to her, “WHAT?! He actually volunteered to be in a Kanye fashion show?!”

As for why the show started 2 hours late, Vanessa says that it was all part of Kanye’s genius master plan. Kanye, who was also apparently sad inside over the lack of Kartrashians, wanted the audience to be in a meditative zone for the show featuring innovative fashions you can get at Walmart’s shapewear section.

“Everyone was in a state of meditation … The long wait before, I believe it was planned because [West] wanted the audience to get into this state of having to observe and having to stay.”

Judging by what I read, Kanye’s trick didn’t work, unless, “Fuck this show, fuck Kanye, fuck everything,” is a meditative chant I don’t know of.

And I am not a master artistic puppeteer like Kanye is, but I am 100% sure that if you want someone to stay, you don’t make them sit in the sun for hours. If Kanye really wanted the audience to get into a patient state of “observation,” he needed to give them a reason to stay. You know, like give them tons of money, or tell them that for the finale of the show, he and the Kartrashians will get into a spaceship that will leave the planet and never come back. Stuff like that!

And here’s Kim looking like a fool as usual in NYC yesterday:


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