Beyonce Is Probably Going To Be In Bradley Cooper’s Remake Of “A Star Is Born”

December 12, 2015 / Posted by:

I was considering Photoshopping Beyonce’s head over Judy Garland’s on the poster for the 1954 version of A Star Is Born, but I’m pretty sure that’s how you write yourself a one-way ticket to Hell.

So, way way back in March, when we first heard that Bradley Cooper had replaced elderly grimace Clint Eastwood as the director of another A Star Is Born remake that was happening, we were reminded of the rumor that Clint originally wanted Beyonce to star in that shit. However, she decided to move on to a much bigger project called Blue Ivy Carter. Well, according to Page Six, Beyonce is back in. That loud furious clicking sound you just heard was one of the more tech savvy members of the Beyhive changing the title of A Star Is Born to A Legend Is Born: The Story of BEYONCE!!!! on IMDB.

A source claims that B. Coop’s remake of A Star Is Born probably won’t happen until the end of 2016 or the beginning of 2017, but he already has his star. The source says Beyonce is “a go” and was looking for an “iconic dramatic role.” What? “Looking“? I’m sorry, but Beyonce’s wig is clearly on too tight if she is unable to remember the iconic blank-eyed thespian greatness that was Xania in The Pink Panther. The source adds that development of A Star Is Born is taking such a long time, because B. Coop recently laid two giant turds (Burnt and Aloha) and he wants to get in at least one non-stinker before his remake.

Speaking of acting, Beyonce has apparently been taking acting lessons, I guess because she doesn’t want to go from “Razzie-nominated actress Beyonce” to “two-time Razzie-nominated actress Beyonce“. Today your thoughts and prayers should be with the poor unfortunate soul who has to utter the words “Um…let’s try that scene again.” I’m sure they’re damn near frozen half to death from repeated exposure to Beyonce’s ice-cold “Bitch, no” face.


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