Mimi Has Moved In With Her Billionaire Piece

November 9, 2015 / Posted by:

Approximately thirteen seconds after we all found out that Mimi was being wooed by hairless billionaire Sulley, there was a rumor that they were already whispering the offensive curse word “marriageinto each other’s ears. (When a multi-millionaire mess and her billionaire boyfriend of two minutes start talking marriage, a future high-powered divorce lawyer passes the bar.) Because Mimi and James Packer are moving faster than a lesbian couple on Adderall, I figured she moved into his mansion before he even stuck the tip of his Shrek peen into her Wuzzle cooze. But a source tells E! News that Mimi only recently moved a bunch of her stuff into James Packer’s Beverly Hills mansion:

“Mariah did move into his home but is still keeping her home as well. They spend so much time together, so it only made sense. They have been speaking about marriage as well. They are very much in love and things couldn’t be better.”

Of course, Mimi kept her own house. She can use half of it as offices for her personal team of Photoshop artistes and she can use the other half as a storage unit to keep all the jewels James is going to buy her.

What’s weird about this story is that the source claims Mimi moved a whole lot of her stuff into his house. I don’t think that’s true. Mimi probably showed up with nothing but an open hand for James to put his credit card in so she can spend his billions on new stuff. I’m sure there were movers involved, but those movers were there to move his shit out and make room for all the luxurious furnishings she’s going to buy. James Packer probably has basic and boring taste and his beige stuff is just not going to go with the custom-made butterfly settee and the champagne-spewing pink diamond-encrusted bidet that Mimi’s going to order.

P.S. – While doing research for this highly important news post, I Googled “butterfly sofa” and found this gorgeous piece:


So if you’ve been looking everywhere for a bench that sort of looks like misshapen and frostbitten coochie lips, it’s your lucky day.

Pics: Wenn.com, archiproducts

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