Reminder: January Jones and her co-star from that Last Man on Earth show, Will Forte, were dating. That was a little fact I forgot about and right after I hit publish on this bitch, I can continue to forget about that little fact, because they’re no longer boning. A source tells UsWeekly that Will Forte no longer has to thaw out his dick with a blow dryer and a hot rag after doing it with January. January dumped Will after only 5 months of being a thing, because life is way too short and there’s way too much dick out there to stick with one for a long time.
As for why the actress isn’t on board with Forte, it may be due to the fact that she’s not looking for commitment. Jones has told pals that “relationships are a pain in the ass,” the insider says.
Tip for January: Whenever you feel that “pain in the ass” during a relationship, it’s time to switch lube brands and possibly look into getting some anus-numbing cream. But really, UsWeekly also put up a story yesterday about how newly single Jon Hamm and newly single January Jones spent a lot of time together at an Emmys after-party.
“Jon was in an amazing mood,” the source tells Us Weekly of Hamm’s demeanor at the post-Emmys party. “He spent most of the night nestled in a corner booth with January and a few show runners,” they added.
January also Instagrammed this picture of her with Don Draper:
Yeah, these two don’t really make sense to me. First of all, what kind of self-respecting home wrecker hooks up with a dude AFTER he breaks up with his long time partner? That is the opposite of home wrecker logic. Second of all, Jon Hamm is supposedly a needy man child who needs a mother figure to take care of him. If that’s the case, he should probably date January’s nanny. Because the minute he starts crying and saying he needs a hug, she’ll probably pick him up and drop him in the nanny’s lap.
And here’s Jon Hamm leaving the eye doctor’s office yesterday. There’s no need to press your eyeballs up against the screen to see if The Hammaconda made an appearance. I already did that.