T.I. And Iggy Azalea Haven’t Broken Up

But I’m sure your eyeballs broke up with your face because of that picture of these two messes wearing I don’t even know what.

The unholy union of Clifford Joseph Harris, Jr. (aka T.I. aka Tip) and Amethyst Amelia Kelly (aka Iggy Azalea) is not broken. T.I. said during a radio interview yesterday morning that he hasn’t spoken to the rejected Muppet in months and is no longer working with her. T.I. didn’t say it straight-up, but it seemed like he checked out of Team Iggy, because he was sick of cleaning up all the diarrhea puddles she spewed on Twitter.

A few hours after T.I.’s interview, TMZ magically threw up a story about how their business break-up was mutual and it happened years ago when Iggy signed to Island Def Jam. Iggy also went on Twitter to say that T.I. shouldn’t air personal stuff on the radio and she figured that he would clarify his words later since the two are still partners. The whole thing was very confusing and many of us freebased Red Bull this morning and duct-taped our eyelids to our foreheads to stay awake, because we were up all night wondering what is going on with these two!

Well, T.I. cleared it all up with a statement to the Associated Press. He and Iggy are not fucking done professionally.

“That’s still my partner. Her life has taken her in a different direction. My life is still as it was before. But Iggy is doing what she feels makes Iggy happy. That’s what she should do. We’re focused on making the next Iggy record and dodge the same adversities we faced last time.”

My guess is that Iggy called T.I. up and let him know that if he dumps her, she’s going to stand outside of his bedroom window every night and brutally torture him by “rapping” into a blow horn. So he gave in. And of course, Iggy has already gloated on Twitter:

Hate to say i told you so… another case of #DigitalDistortion

— IGGY AZALEA (@IGGYAZALEA) September 18, 2015

“Digital distortion” is also a good phrase to describe Iggy’s auto-tuned-to-hell-and-back rapping.