For years, “The Release Of Usher’s Fuck Tape” has been under “Lindsay Lohan’s Comeback” on the list of things we keep being told are going to happen and never happen.
Three years ago, it was reported that in 2010, Usher made the genius move of leaving $1 million worth of jewelry and two laptops in the trunk one of his cars. Someone broke into the trunk of his car and stole everything including a laptop which had a sex tape he made with his then wife Tameka Foster on it. Someone tried selling the tape right after it was stolen, but nobody wanted to buy it. Last month, TMZ said that someone once again tried to get money for the tape, but instead of going to the porn companies they went to the blogs. Usher’s lawyer Mark Geragos has been trying to track down the trick who’s been peddling the sex tape.
Well, two days ago on the night before Jesus’ born day, two grainy ass screen shots that were supposedly from the sex tape (NSFW) made their way onto the Internet. The saying “You are the company you keep” is so right because on Christmas Day my Twitter timeline was full of dick-crazed whores going on and on about Usher’s peen. The screen shots are so damn grainy and the lighting is so bad that it could be Nipsey Russell nibbling on a chorizo for all we know.
Usher hasn’t said anything about the leak yet.
It’s also kind of hard to tell if it really is Usher’s dick. I mean, is it really Usher’s dick if Justin Bieber’s ass isn’t wrapped around it? That is the question.
Pic: Men’s Health