Ariana Grande Latte Really Thinks She’s The New Mariah Carey

September 8, 2014 / Posted by:

The meth-faced flamingo Frankie Grande will tell you that his sister Ariana Grande Latte is the reigning Empress of Pop and that the bottoms of her Bratz shoes are covered with the hair of Beyonce and Madge because she’s standing on top of all of those bitches. But anybody else will say, “I think that’s my favorite font,” if you asked them what an Ariana Grande is. Ariana Grande Latte has a few hits and her songs are currently the most requested songs at every preschool prom, but she’s still ten billion years away from being the legend she thinks she is in her delusional Sea Wees head. Bitch thinks she can act like Mimi when she’s got Hoku’s career (zero offense to legendary pop icon Hoku). says Ariana Grande Latte ┬áhit the “quit this bitch” button during a photo shoot with an Australian newspaper, because she didn’t like any of the pictures. Apparently, Chris Pavlich, a photographer for mX newspaper, was told that he wasn’t allowed to use any natural light and he was only allowed to shoot the left side of her face, because she truly thinks she’s the reincarnation of Mimi (even though Mimi’s still alive) and on her right cheek is the sign that Satan branded into her face when she made a pact with him to be the biggest star in the world!

It’s surprising that photographers are able to shoot any side of Ariana’s face since her head is shoved up her ass and nobody can pull it out because her wannabe Charo ponytail keeps getting in the way.

A source says that during her shoot with mX, she kept stopping to check each frame and she made Chris delete the ones she didn’t like. Ariana stopped the shoot a few minutes in because she wanted to go back to her hotel to change her top. Ariana didn’t come back, but one of her reps did and told Chris to delete all the pictures. Chris refused to kill the pictures and later Ariana’s security guards screwed with him as he left. Ariana’s people canceled the rest of the shoots she was supposed to do in Australia.

Ariana Grande Latte’s people also gave the media in Australia a list of things they were not allowed to talk about while interviewing her.

(1) Relationships/Dating/Ex-boyfriends
(2) Mariah Carey
(3) Sam & Cat/Jennette McCurdy
(4) Working/collaborating with Justin Bieber
(5) Her grandfather passing away

Team Grande Latte wasted everyone’s time by passing out that list. The Australian media wasn’t going to ask Ariana about her dumb, little relationships or about Justin Beiber. The only thing anybody wants to know is what it’s like being the sister of a social media mogul! Nobody cares about anything else. Ariana Grande Latte’s hair really is full of delusion.

Here’s some pictures from a couple of weeks ago of Ariana performing on Today while looking like a fembot in a highly illegal child porn parody of Austin Powers.

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