What In Junior High School Talent Show Reject Hell?

If two 8th graders who suffered severe brain and nerve damage from huffing freon out of their parents’ air conditioning units spent 10 minutes choreographing a dance to a John Legend song in a darkly lit garage for the junior high school talent show, they would still place higher than Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. The thug princess who rules every deposition queefed out (and then deleted) two Instagram videos tonight which will make you cringe yourself inside/out. Justin’s garbage bag gauchos should be illegal in every state, but these videos of their “dancing” looks like scenes straight out of a low-budget, thrown together remake of Save The Last Dance for Disney Jr.

It’s like watching a chihuahua drag around his favorite stuffed chipmunk toy to hump on and I’m glad Justin Bieber didn’t get lipstick from that shit. And if this was a game where we had to guess what their beautiful and delicate interpretive dance is about, I’d guess it’s either about “the exact moment when gonorrhœa infects a vagina” or it’s about a butt plug that keeps slipping out of a baggy b-hole. It’s probably the latter. They’re romantic and artistic like that.