So That’s Why Xtina Bought Herself A Fancy Diamond Engagement Ring

February 20, 2014 / Posted by:

Xtina can free herself from the cocoon of Spanx that her body’s trapped in and she can stop eating only calorie-free air to stay skinny, because a fetus has moved into her uterus. Xtina’s piece (who has “Xtina’s piece” listed as his current job title on LinkedIn) of around 4 years Matt Rutler hasn’t had a job in years, but that doesn’t mean his jizz fish are lying around leisurely drinking afternoon martinis on her dime. They actually got up and did some work. Just a few days after Xtina showed off the engagement ring that her own personal KFed bought her with her AMEX card, People has announced that she’s knocked up with her second child. Pregnantina is back!

Aguilera, 33, and Rutler, 29, a film producer, are set to welcome their first child together, PEOPLE confirms.

“They’re very much in love and are really excited to take this next step!” a source close to the pair tells PEOPLE.

Xtina has a 6-year-old son named Max with her Bat Boy-looking ass ex-husband Jordan Bratman.

Matt Rutler is truly living the gold digging dream without even trying. I don’t even think he speaks. All he does is sit there and listen to Xtina burp up at the mouth about herself while her assistants roll lead-based orange paint all over her body and then they get a quickie in as she drinks from the vodka faucet next to her bed. I don’t even think Xtina has ever heard him talk. If he ever does spit out a word, it’s going to be like the time we heard Maggie Simpson talk for the first time. It’s going to be really anticipated and he’s going to sound like Elizabeth Taylor. But yet he managed to get Xtina to marry him and knock her up. Now he’s set for life, unless Xtina has a girl and blows all her money on baby Bronzer and Herve Leger bandage onesies, which is totally possible.

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