What In Bowl Cut Hell Is This, Miley?

January 15, 2014 / Posted by:

What in the name of Simple Jack chipmunk fuck is going on with Miley Cyrus’s hair? How does something like this even happen? The conversation between her and whoever is responsible for this mess must have gone something like this:

Miley: Bowl cut.

Hairdresser: Like Dumb & Dumber?

Miley: Worse.

Hairdresser: The Three Stooges?

Miley: Worse.

Hairdresser: Okay, I can do this in the front, this in the back, keep the underneath poo brown and then dye the top a few shades lighter than Relevant Aaron Carter.

Miley: Perfect!

Aside from that hair that really brings out the derp in Miley’s face, with those high waisted suspender pants and belly shirt, she looks like any girl at my high school in the 90’s (yeah, I’m fucking old). She’s missing these supersexy lug sole shoes and an ankh necklace, but the resemblance is still there. I tried to pull shit like that off but my mom always bought my clothes three sizes too big insisting I’d grow into them and wouldn’t let me show my belly so I had to stuff a long shirt into REALLY baggy pants. With my off-brand platform patent leather black and white spectator shoes, I was some green makeup and a fedora away from looking like the fucking Mask dressed up for prom.

Here are some more pics of Miley looking like a peroxided gloster canary.

(Pics: FameFlynet)

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