Hell Hath No Fury Like A Bored Crackie

December 20, 2013 / Posted by: Megan

Our Lady of Perpetual Sluntbucketry Lindsay Lohan has allegedly run out of people her own age to alienate and piss off and has moved to the younger crowd. A source told Page Six that Lindsay won’t get the hint that Morgan O’Connor, the 18-year-old model she was reportedly ~~using for her supply~~ wrapping her cougar flaps around doesn’t want anything to do with her crackie ass.

“She finds out where Morgan is, then shows up and causes problems,” an O’Connor source told the paper. “Morgan’s modeling, he’s going to the gym, working for charities — he’s got stuff to do. He doesn’t want to be around Lindsay or her –behavior.”

Excuse the fuck outta you, anonymous source! The Lohans also have stuff to do. Ali wants to sing again, Lindsay is this close to a lucrative book deal and Dina is busy holding a loaded gun to make sure I got all that down.

The source also said Lindsay crashed a party Morgan threw at the Dream Downtown hotel for his friends, the Rich Kids of Instagram crowd (yeah, I don’t know who the fuck they are, either). She allegedly started bitching Morgan out and demanded all the girls leave, but someone stepped up to play the Bon Qui Qui character in this production of Heartbreak Whore-tel and called security.

“They honestly didn’t know what to do — they assumed it was Lohan’s room,” the source said, as after that, the Mean Girls star “called her dad and locked herself in a bedroom, and wouldn’t come out.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You have to have money or available credit to get a hotel room, don’t you? This bitch could go to rehab for 25 to life and still not be able to sort her shit out. Lindsay, you are 47 27 years old. You do not lock yourself in a room and call your daddy because your pretend boyfriend would rather get his dick stuck in the treads of an escalator than have anything to do with your crazy ass. Get a fucking hobby that doesn’t involve scaring kids, drugs, acting, singing, drugs, alcohol, drugs or keeping your cringe-worthy self in the public eye.

(Pic: Instagram)

Tags: Crackheads, Elderly, Lindsay Lohan, Why Are You Pulling My Dick?, Yeah Okay

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