Don’t You Just Hate It When A One Night Stand Pulls A Knife On You?

April 18, 2013 / Posted by:

Seen above as the kosher meat in a caucasian-jewish-korean manwich, Eddie Kaye Thomas, better known as Shit-Break from the American Pie movies, had to call the police yesterday afternoon after his one night trick turned into a knife-wielding crazy bitch who was once step away from boiling his bunny rabbit. Didn’t Eddie Kaye Thomas learn anything from his own movies? Sometimes it’s better just to stay home and fuck an apple pie from Costco.

TMZ says that Eddie picked up a trick at Mel’s Diner of all places on Tuesday night and brought her back to his house in the Hollywood Hills. The next day, Eddie tried to get the trick out of his house and that’s when she pulled some “I’m not going to be ignored” shit. My guess is that Eddie told her she had to leave, because he was needed on set. Even crazy bitches know that Eddie hasn’t said that line truthfully since 2010.

When Eddie asked that insane trick to leave, she pulled a knife on him. Eddie ran outside and called the police. They sent the SWAT team and while they were outside of Eddie’s house, the crazy bitch was inside, trashing his house. The SWAT team had to tear gas the ho to get her out. She was booked for felony vandalism after she was checked out at a hospital.

Who in the hell brings a jump-off home anymore? (If you’ve got a one night trick cleaning out their genitals in your bathroom sink while you’re reading this, you should make a guilty face.) Yes, most of us have done it, but we still know that you’re not supposed to bring a one-time fuck partner to your house. That’s what the backseat of cars, alleyways, bar bathrooms and Porta Potties on construction sites are for. (Side note: Somebody should really make Porta Potties for one night stands. They can put ’em outside of all the bars. They can call ’em Porta Fuckies.)

If Eddie wanted to get that lunatic ho out fast, he should’ve just put on one of those direct-to-DVD American Pie movies. That will make even the craziest bitch scatter for the door.

With all that being said, you know Eddie’s going to call her back for a second round, because there ain’t no ass like crazy ass.

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