Lindsay Lohan And Adderall Shall Never Be Parted

April 13, 2013 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan is currently living out the best decision of her life (served in a bong made of sarcasm) by trolling around the current Ecstasy capital of the world Coachella and in a few weeks she’ll have to shuffle her ass into court-ordered rehab in the Hamptons. Because LiLo can never make anything easy and can’t breathe unless she’s sticking a thorn into somebody’s ass lips, she’s going to give the rehab staff a hard time as soon as she walks through the door.

TMZ says that LiLo was under the impression that she can keep downing Adderall while in rehab, but that isn’t the case. LiLo claims she has ADHD (in LiLo’s case that stands for attention-loving delusional ho disorder) and has to take Adderall at all times. But TMZ is hearing that Seafield Center isn’t going to allow it and will make her turn in all of her Adderall when she checks in. Some source says that the Seafield Center allows their patients to take meds prescribed by a doctor, but they’re forever side-eyeing Adderall. They’re apparently going to try to wean LiLo off of Adderall by giving her a substitute that’s less addictive. LiLo is telling her friends that if they try to rip her Adderall from her cold, freckled, demon claws, she’ll quit that bitch in a second. And if she quits that bitch in a second, off to jail she goes!

Oh, please, they’re not going to take away her Adderall. This is LiLo we’re talking about. Bitch rules the world. When she checks in, the staff will softly ask her, “Um, your HIGHness, do you think that we can take your, um, Add-” She’ll spit out “NO!” they’ll say “OK!” and they’ll give her all the Adderall she wants. They’ll put an Adderall on her pillow during turn down service every night and they’ll constantly fill the mint bowl in her room with Adderall. LiLo will start selling Adderall to the other patients and staff, and by the time she’s out of there, everyone in there will be hooked on that shit! The makers of Adderall should really make that bitch a majority shareholder, because ho is keeping them in business.

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