John Travolta’s Former Scientology Handler Has A Really Hot Name

I see that thick folder with John Travolta’s name on it. It probably has more pictures of hard dick than the folder on my desktop labeled, “more pictures of hard dick, part 3.“

The Hollywood Reporter has been posting excerpts from Lawrence Wright’s book about Scientology called Going Clear and yesterday they shared details about John Travolta’s fucked up relationship with the Cult of L. Ron Hubbard. John joined Scientology after actress Joan Prather told him about it while on the set of some crap movie called The Devil’s Rain in Mexico. John started taking classes at Scientology’s Celebrity Centre and was hooked after he believed that they helped him get his breakout role on Welcome Back, Kotter:

Travolta began taking the Hubbard Qualified Scientologist Course at the Celebrity Centre with about 150 other students. He confided to the teacher, Sandy Kent, that he was about to audition for a television show, Welcome Back, Kotter. Kent instructed everyone to point in the direction of ABC Studios and telepathically communicate the instruction: “We want John Travolta for the part.” At the next meeting, Travolta revealed he had gotten the role of Vinnie Barbarino — the part that would soon make him famous. “My career immediately took off,” Travolta boasted in a Church publication. “Scientology put me in the big time.

Scientology gave John a Sea Org handler and it was the handler’s job to keep him in check, manage his relationship with his fans and she even had to get Paramount to buy a large block of Scientology audits for his birthday. John’s handler goes on to say that she became very close to him, but Scientology tore them apart and later manipulated her into luring him back to the cult after they felt like he was straying away. She eventually left Scientology and became a “Suppressive Person” after they kept her baby from her and punished her by throwing her in a disciplinary program. The entire excerpt is as long as Chris Brown’s pencil dick, but it’s a must-read. It reads like a scary novella as written by Stephen King.

Anyway, the best part of the excerpt is that the name of John Travola’s former Scientology handler is: SPANKY TAYLOR! SPANKY TAYLOR! Her real name is Sylvia Taylor, but everyone calls her Spanky.

John Travolta would have a handler named Spanky Taylor. Spanky Taylor sounds like a sex act involving whips and anus clamps. It’s just a perfect name. John Travolta’s world would totally be a different place if he had stayed friends with Spanky Taylor. SPANKY TAYLOR!