Short answer: EVERYBODY!
Long answer: Tyler Perry, Mad Mel, Aretha Franklin, Alicia Keys, Cousin Dionne (DUH), Kevin Costner, High Priestess Oprah, Stevie Wonder, Clive Davis, Bobby Brown, CeCe Winans, Marvin Winans, Ray J and Rickey Minor.
Whitney Houston’s funeral is tomorrow at the same Newark, NJ church where she first yodeled in the choir and I half expect Giuliana Rancic to be on the red carpet asking mourners who they’re wearing. It’s turning out to be like that. Celebrity after celebrity has been invited and People will start live streaming it in the morning. Aretha Franklin, who was like a godmother to Whitney, is going to sing and Kevin Costner is expected to reenact scenes from The Bodyguard. No, but Kevin Costner is going to speak. The name that is punching me in the eyeballs until all I see are stars spelling out the letters “W-T-F” is Mel Gibson’s name. According to TMZ, Mel “I Hope You Get Raped By A Pack Of…” Gibson tried to help Whitney get off the bad shit a while ago and her family has always been grateful for that.
Mel has already told the family that he can’t go, which sort of sucks, because you know who else is going? Those fame whoring heathen cunt demons of The Westboro Baptist Church. Mad Mel would rage their faces right off and we’d be rid of those crazies forever. But I guess we don’t need Mel for that since Cousin Dionne will be there. Cousin Dionne’s got the number of every single one of those hussies.