No, OctoMom Will Not Have Sex With You

August 4, 2011 / Posted by:

No, this is not a still of a lost scene from Splice. This is OctoMom on the cover of the always elegant Steppin’ Out Magazine. In the interview with Steppin’ Out, Octo continues to talk about how her vagina only opens for baby heads and she isn’t interested in anything sex related. Octo was married for a while and couldn’t even tell you if her husband’s dick situation was curved, cut or mushroom-headed. Octo has no idea, because she barely spent time with his peen. Octo would rather get intimate with an IVF needle than with a peen and she’s alright with that.

“I can tell you that I never touched him physically. It was a different type of marriage.

That’s all I want to say about it. I’m the kind of person who can be with a man for years and never touch him. My mind is not wired that way. I don’t need that kind of thing. People need sex, but I don’t .. I have zero sexual interest.

And in the spirit of sharing more than you’d probably ever want to know. I’ve never even touched myself in that way. Maybe if I had touched myself things would be different. It’s like a trigger food. I never tried it so I don’t know what I’m missing.

I couldn’t even imagine kissing something. I’ll be your friend but it would take at least five years for me to even consider having sex with you.”

If you’re with me, then I guess your response to Octo never having an O is just….oh.

via Daily Mail

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